"Blind
Me" Monitor Mode
 |
|
Allow
your friends to easily read the computer screen by simply looking
at your face!
|
Bundled
with MoFOS is our new and improved monitor mode. In addition to actually
displaying graphics on the screen in a 400,000 watt glow, it also projects
the image onto the back wall of your eye (the retina) and face (the
flesh covering your head). This not only "looks really cool",
but also provides a useful service by reproducing the picture of the
screen on your face for others to see. The warm, burning effect of the
monitor on your retinas means you will be able to see your computing
experience on every wall, floor and surface for the next two days. Comes
in several modes including "Tan", "Medium Rare", "Singe", and "Lobotomy".
This screen mode is backed by over two doctors (doctorates given in
balloon animal creation).
Advanced
Hacker's Tools
 |
|
Our
OS allows access to even the most top-secret of confidential documents!
|
Ever wanted
to be a super cool hacker like the ones in the films? Want to impress
all the girls with your out-of-date yet "subversive" phreaking techniques,
but think that it's too much of a bother to learn? Don't give up, our
pre-made hacking tools are perfect for any occasion - whether it's credit
card fraud, or hacking the Pentagon! You can trust our tools to make
all passwords irrelevant (it finds back doors automatically) and safely
keep you away from IRCops! (InfraRed Cops - they are like CyberCops,
but they have night vision).
Of
course, no real hackers use GUI's like us normal people, so you have to
type out commands on a black screen with a green, DOS-like prompt. Here's
an example:
COMMAND:>
<8|_4|-|8|_4|-|/\/\34|\|1|\|6|_355|\||_|/\/\83|25>
Hack {TARGET}
COMMAND:> Hack Bill Clinton, Washington, America, EARTH
Bill Clinton has been successfully Hacked. HE IS PLOTTING A
WAR!!!
That's
right! No more cumbersome and confusing ips needed, just type in your
target and get thousands of top secret pages on bombs and drugs and shit.
By the way, passwords are always "sex", "god", "Ferrari", or the name
of the person's mistress. ALWAYS.
Instant
Internet Cyberspace Connection
 |
|
One
easy step and you're in "Cyberspace"!
|
When you
watched "Tron" for the first time and saw the "Internet",
didn't it make you feel like it was actually a good film? Didn't you
wish that you could cruise through this colorful, dynamic new world?
Well, the future is now with MoFOS! Just connect to AOL with your modem,
then peer close at your screen (squinting helps) and you'll instantly
be in CYBERSPACE! Take some time to explore this new universe. Look
in awe at your fractally generated surroundings where everything is
wibbly wobbly! FANTASTIC! In your travels you will undoubtedly see other
MoFOS users floating around the Internet's psychedelic-graph paper intestinal
tracts . You can interact with them - touching, groping, and even sexual
intercourse are all possible in this "Virtual" world - and
force feedback (provided by fibre optical cables) means you will feel
everything without the need for cumbersome body suits.
WARNING:
Spending too much time in Cyberspace will digitize your body and you will
become part of the mainframe database science cycle and your body will
disappear, and then all the phones will start ringing or something.
WARNING:
Watch out for badly drawn CG spikey balls. They are probably not good
and will kill you. THEY ARE VIRUSES! If you die in Cyberspace, you die
in real life. The death signals go straight to your brain and your body
disappears or a trickle of blood dribbles from the corner of your mouth.
Virtual
Reality File System
 |
|
Attempt
to delete those cumbersome files with fun, exciting, 30 minute
procedures! You'll be on "The Edge" of your seat!
|
Well
FUCK! Updating your files and shit is remarkably boring in other OSs.
However, MoFOS has done some very innovative and ingenious work on new
file managing programs. Rather than clicking on a file and then pressing
the dull "del" key, you can now put on CyberGoggles and roam around
your computer's floppy drive, somewhat like cyberspace (but it's different
because it's not the Internet). Once in the computer's hard disk, you
can shoot files to delete them. People we tested this on got a bit trigger
happy so we decided that once the files are shot,they wouldn't actually
be deleted. This is great because you'll never accidentally delete a
file again, ensuring you won't lose that important speech about nuclear
power or the world's first cold fusion reactor! We are still working
on the file creation process, and it will be addressed in MoFOS 2.0.
It may involve "CyberCopulation" with other files.
Next
Page: Much, Much More!
Tired
of the crash-prone and unreliable service of Windows? Exhausted
from Linux's lack of universal driver support? Frustrated by having
to use a Mac just to run MacOS? Well ditch all those crappy OSs,
Something Awful is offering, for the first time ever, the exclusive
MoFOS for your personal computer! What exactly is MoFOS? Simply
put, it is an incredible new operating system brought to you by
the magic of Hollywood, as seen in many famous "hi-tech"
films and movies! Forget Linux's versatility, MacOS's user friendliness,
and Window's blue screen of death. MoFOS (Movie Fake
Operating System) more than makes up for your
lack of computer skills and / or IQ by providing a number of built
in features that no other current OS can offer:
