The Most Awful Links on the Internet

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(3-30-00): The A-Team.org - The "A-Team" is a group of ragtag lawyers who probably DON'T drive around in a cool black van and probably DON'T create various weapons out of scrap metal and NONE of them resemble B.A. in any way.

(3-29-00): Universal Traslation Portals Dutch UFO - Oh boy, those crazy ass, dolphin lovin', rainforest obsessed, interplanetary spaceship nutballs have done it again!

(3-28-00): Jeffrey Komori's Information Superhighway Rest-stop - This is the goon who owns www.jeffk.com. If our Jeff K. were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave.

(3-27-00): Extreme Futuristic Wrestling - Man, just when I think I've seen it all, I am rudely awakened by a site like this.

(3-27-00): BONUS LINK: Gary Coleman and Messiah Get Jiggy Wid It - Jesus Christ, this is pathetic. I can't tell which party is more embarrassing, the actions of Gary Coleman or Shiny.

(3-26-00): Train Up a Child Biblical Action Figures - Who could ever know the Bible was so exciting and action packed? I really didn't, and after viewing this page, I'm not sure that outlook has changed any.

(3-25-00): Hardwar.com - "DEFINITELY not what I expected to find." I second that emotion, and think it's rather interesting to see what one can find when you slightly misspell a URL.

(3-24-00): Skirtman.org - I'm sure you have an idea of what to expect from a site run by a person named "Skirtman".

(3-23-00): Bunnispace.net - Since SA is now a holy, sacred place, all the links provided will be to upbeat, happy, wonderful things. "Bunnispace" is just this.

(3-22-00): Ziggy's Goth Vampire and Satanism Page of Horror - I realized today that I haven't used many goth pages as ALoDs, and this depresses me to the point where I want to smear white pancake makeup all over my face, paint my nails red, and ejaculate all over my aunt's corpse.

(3-21-00): Shape Shifting Between Dolphin and Human Form - Uhhhh... what the fuck?

(3-20-00): Papa Rap.net - "My kids did not want to listen to me When I sat down and tried to talk my piece. There was no way I could get to thier brains To instruct them in my very own ways." Why? Because Papa Rap is a fucking psychopath, that's why.

(3-19-00): Kathy Jensen Designs - Be afraid, be very afraid. Kathy enjoys modeling really screwed up "Faerys" and writing a whole bunch of nonsensical New Age crap to describe the horrid creations.

(3-18-00): Michael's Mysterious Mile of Melancholy - While this link was originally submitted for the "Werd Up Wiggy Wiggy White Boy" contest last week, it didn't make it in because the guy doesn't have any OG raps of his own. But what he does have is infinitely worse.

(3-17-00): I Hate You All, and I Plan to Kill You - Finally, somebody able to express my true feelings and emotions on a webpage without the use of gay porn.

(3-16-00): The Multiplication Table Rap - Fact: children today are very stupid. Why? Probably because of shit like this.

(3-15-00): My Cyber Pets - Hooray for animated gifs! Hooray for lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of animated gifs portraying vague, unidentifiable "pets" of some sort!

(3-14-00): Fangs - Railroad spike penis attention cartoon. Ugh.

(3-13-00): Unsolved Mysteries - The true unsolved mystery is how most of these people were smart enough to figure out how to get on the Internet.

(3-10-00): Two Gallon Jugs - Oh Jesus, make it stop!!! You know how in those "wacky" TV sitcoms, people will have online sex with somebody who's been claiming they're some kind of hot supermodel? Then they'll actually meet the person and she turns out to be an exotic species of Yeti, only slightly less attractive and has more facial hair? This is that woman

(3-09-00): "Most Organized Money Making Crimes Ever" - What the hell...? Some dumbass is trying to start an actual gang out over the Internet? BONUS LINK: "THE MISSION", a page written entirely in capital letters about being a "SPIRITUAL GANGSTA".

(3-08-00): Ninja'z of Bermuda - If the neon green background doesn't critically wound you, the animated "ninja" gifs will... and if you don't die from that, there's always the content.

(3-07-00): Accept Jesus, Forever Forgiven! - Jesus hates you and your stupid eyesite. Learn about the Bible while suffering in pain, the way it should be!

(3-06-00): "YoungHope and Masta Momma" - Kickin' off the chillin' ill tip of "Wiggy Wiggy Whiteboy Week" is a killer white rap band from Sweden. All the hard core OGs come from Sweden!

(3-05-00): Jesus Is Back - Apparently Jesus went away for a brief period of time, but luckily he has come back in the form of a psychotic leaping madman who appears on the Geraldo show.

(3-04-00): Villain Thievz - Oh God, I love whiteboy MIDI rap, this shit cracks me up every time.

(3-03-00): Bloodlust Studios - This is what happens when a group of kids have a sleepover one night with access to the complete "Nightmare on Elm Street" series and a computer with QBasic.

(3-02-00): Alas - Ha ha, take the razor blades out of a goth's hands, give them a pen and paper, and they'll draw the zaniest things!

(3-01-00): "Put Your Family on The Web" - This page cracks me the hell up, it's definitely one of most goofiest things I've ever seen within the last four hours.

(2-29-00): WAREZ is COOL wELcOMe WipE Ur fEet - Another Jeff K.-esque page, just what the world needs!

(2-28-00): Sit and Spin. - I'm not even going to bother describing it. I've said other comics on the Internet were the worst POSs ever created, and the next day somebody always sends me a link to something even worse.

(2-27-00): Bagels For All! - Oh yay, finally a website devoted to bagels, my prayers have been answered.

(2-26-00): Mony's Virtual Fun! - If you're sick of bullshit phrases like "virtual" and "cyber", this page is definitely not for you.

(2-25-00): Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot - Oh lord, this TV series from the late 1960's / early 1970's was the best fucking show ever (the word "best", of course, meaning "worst").

(2-24-00): The Golden Girls Zone - Looking for a site that contains everything you ever wanted to know about the late 80's hit sitcom, "The Golden Girls"? Me neither.

(2-23-00): Hamdija - Spacemodel of Fashion's Future - Yes, he is probably from space.

(2-22-00): "Forage" - Worst Internet comic ever. So bad that's it's linked on here twice.

(2-21-00): Frankie Burke Productions - "Then...when the genius of this gifted performer begins to explode in every direction, he captures the hearts of the entire audience and touches each person in a very special way."

(2-20-00): Philippa's Problem Page - You got problems, that's for sure.

(2-19-00): Jesus, Dinosaurs, and More - This page proves that man evolved from Jesus who evolved from dinosaurs, or apes, or Noah's Ark, or something.

(2-18-00): Squirrels - Enough said.

(2-17-00): The University of Cambridge Department of Chemical Engineering's Support Staff - A collection of the scariest looking human beings ever born (thanks Shaithis).

(2-16-00): Big Daddy D's Joint - Some kind of "team" that does "something". Make sure to check out the links on the left.

(2-15-00): Teevee Web Design - Need a professional company to design your website? Here's a hint: don't go to this page.

(2-14-00): Wet and Messy Socks - As far as foot fetishes go, this is a fairly odd site.

(2-13-00): Cyber Love 1 on 1 - I never liked poetry to begin with, but after seeing this thing...

(2-12-00): Rage Labs Web Design - Another "professional" webdesign "company".

(2-11-00): PlanetQuake3.net - Not to be confused with "PlanetQuake.com" or "a legitimate website". For more related material, be sure to read all about the lawsuit PQ3.net threatened SA with.

(2-10-00): "Forage" - The worst Internet comic strip ever created. EVER. Not to be confused with Real Life, which is less worse (but its writer is a nice guy).

(2-9-00): Spiritual Warfare - Nothing quite like a good Bible-based video game.

(2-8-00): Bridget's Photo Page - An entire site dedicated to an ugly pink dog.

(2-7-00): Gamer's Portal - Bizarre, broken English descriptions of gaming sites that serve no apparent purpose other than to confuse you.

(2-6-00): Freakbugz Home Page - Wacky animated gifs and randomly colored sentences ensure a hard reboot every time.

(2-5-00): The Glowstick Ninja Page - Yet another raver site obsessed with Rainbow Brite. How incredible.

(2-4-00): The Jeff K. CD - Bet you didn't know Jeff K. was a musician that plays exotic island music! Me neither!

(2-3-00): Inside Feeders - A look inside the movie that changed my life.

(2-2-00): AnGeL's PaGe O' PhUn! - I know I probably shouldn't have as many raver pages linked on here but dammit, they're all so awful!

(2-1-00): Cynthia's Drawings and Animations - You'll have to wait a few hours for the page to load, but believe me, it's worth it. I love this page.

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