Boxes of Shit

Some time ago, Jericho decided to clean house a bit. This involved getting rid of leftovers from the fridge, old computer equipment and a wide variety of 'shit' that had accumulated over the years. Just giving it up to the trash or Goodwill wasn't enough. Instead, he took some of the best items and boxed it up to ship off to Lyger. No documentation exists from this event, but believe me, a certain level of trauma was established.

On Feb 7, 2008, Jericho wanted to share the love, and d2d felt the pain this time. This time, d2d decided to document the box should the need for evidence arise. d2d's colorful commentary betrayed the level of stalkerish deviance found in the box. Box highlights: Phone Cord and Condoms

On Feb 8, 2008, Jericho figured Lyger needed a second dose of 'love'. House cleaning was going well, but it was far from over. Another box of shit left the Denver area, ready to surprise and please scare. Box highlights: Harry Potter Bertie Baked Beans

Reading about all these boxes made Apacid realize that Jericho hadn't been on the receiving end yet. He was going to fix that, so he sent a box of revenge on behalf of the others Jericho had so traumatized. Box highlights: Everquest Ruins of Kunark Map

It took over a year, but d2d finally recovered from his box. He mustered up the courage and fired off his own box back to Jericho, swearing it would level the playing field. Box highlights: Handcuff Keys

Without warning, a box arrived for Jericho in July 2008, from a fan stalker. Breaking the cycle of box inbreeding, Niki7a sent a box full of wonderous surprise. Box highlights: PURPLE CREEPY THING OF DOOM

To follow the stalking tradition, Jericho decided that Amber should have a better understanding of his creepy obsession and unhealthy devotion. Two thousand miles, four bomb dogs and two government inspections later, her custom box of shit arrived. Box highlights: Plush Mushroom

Israel Torres won our unique collection of "hacker" stickers that we put up for auction to support the Open Security Foundation. Since the bid reached a certain number, we promised it would contain more than the stickers, and a box of shit would arrive. Box highlights: hotel shampoo with custom message scrawled on bottle. Aloria taunted us on Twitter one too many times, and earned the stalkerish attention of Jericho. This demanded swift response in the form of a quality box of shit to let her know we mean serious businesses. This should keep her and her beast of a cat at bay for a little, while phase two of stalking begins. Box highlights: SEXY MUSHROOM PIG ORGY. Days after the previous box hit Aloria's doorstep, she retaliated swiftly. With the fastest turnaround on a box-of-shit, I quickly found myself sorting through her own offering of flirtation. This may be a match made in hell. Box highlights: Hand-knitted Robot.
A while back, I sent Jason Scott a box of shit well suited to his archive fetish. As curator of and more recently, an archivist with the Internet Archive, a bit of computer history is perfect in his hands. Box highlights: TRS-80 Portable Computer. Some time ago, I sent Amber a special box of shit that had taken some time to collect for. I figured she could use some magazine subscription cards, to save her a trip to the local convenience store. More importantly, I wanted to demonstrate just how much liquid courage I had been consuming to assist in my stalking endeavors. Finally, since I know she works in the financial sector, I sent her my 401k investment paperwork (on the left) and asked for advice for yielding better returns. I got another restraining order instead. After sending Amber the great material above, she was one of three to send a Box of Shit to me at the same time. In addition to that batty lady, Space Rogue and Lyger both contributed. Here are some of the pics from this Trifecta of Shit (tm).
Because a box of shit should not be exclusive to the U.S., Jericho sent out a few boxes overseas. One recipient, Carsten, gave his 'gift' serious thought and fully realized the implications. Like a good Euro, he wrote up his feelings and shared them with the world. Box highlights: Cheetohs. Steve writes: "When I got home Wednesday I was greeted by a box shipped by Jericho from Attrition. My memory is a little foggy from my late-night July 3rd visit to downtown Denver, but I'm pretty sure it was payoff for a bet to see who could climb to the top of the Big Blue Bear the fastest. Or maybe I told him I'd give him money in exchange for Lazlo shirts. Who can be sure?" You can read his full write up here. 'Clarkzilla' was out and about partaking in libations, and ran across an awesome squirrel glass. Via Twitter, I quickly demanded one as tribute to Lazlo. The reply was either a veiled threat of sexual violence, or a promise that it would be sent soon. As the box was in transit, I received this 'proof of life' photo to show that a small box of shit, glass included, was on the way. It arrived in great shape, sans cat. Still cursing that part...
Space Rogue sent a box of shit for X-mas, and it is hands down the most glorious box ever received. On top of all the wonderful tech gadgets and a silky jerk cloth, a glass sculpture of a squirrel was included. It now sits center of the mantle, with little offerings to the squirrel gods to bring good luck and prosperity to the squirrels of City Park. Bigger picture and full write-up are available for your sciuridae pleasure. In return for delivering a picture of a Lazlo sticker on SCADA gear, I "rewarded" Chris Sistrunk (@chrissistrunk) with a box of shit. I use that term pretty lightly since it was a small box, and it only mildly creeped him out. I guess I am just warming up for a future box that may involve more serious squirrel paraphernalia. After receiving a glorious glass squirrel from Space Rogue, I felt obligated to send him a box of shit in return. Of course, waiting a long time to build up anticipation made it even better for both of us. In return for the box, Space Rogue decided to write up a 'Psycho Analysis' of me based on the contents. We know he has issues spelling, so I am sure he meant 'psychoanalysis'.
A while back, Jericho offered a box-of-shit to anyone on twitter. A few brave souls spoke up including Dave Shackleford who puts the 'hackles' in Twitter. In return for the box, he was obligated to write up a fine blog about his gift and he did so. You can read about his fun here. In addition to 'Shack', Chris Eng opted to receive a box. Since he gave me a work address and I know some of his coworkers, I sent envelopes to them too. He got a three-fer. As obligated, he too wrote up a nice blog describing his ordeal. Six years prior, Mauvehed was a charity box of shit winner but not staff. He generously sent a write-up for us to publish so we naturally ignored / forgot about it. After he became staff (idiot) he harassed the rest of us to finally publish it. In addition to the box contents, you get to see a picture of him wearing a hat if your stomach can take it.

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