Box Of Shit
Thanks for the box of shit Jericho. Christmas came late this year.
This arrived a couple days ago. Since I actually have a job, I couldn’t be home to receive the package. And since the post office operates only during hours where most productive citizens are at work, I had to sit outside the postoffice and call in late for work to receive the fucking thing.
As you can see, it was clearly fucking worth it.
It came with a lovely DVD player remote, the kind that comes with the $36.99 walmart DVD players. I’ve always kept mine for fear of someday needing the damned things. Jericho’s solution to “Donate” the fucking things is a far greater idea. I’m thinking of sending mine to the next Postal victim.
Speaking of which, why couldn’t he fucking send this shit off to some postal victim. I guess I’m just reading this wrong. Well, in thinking more of it, I most certainly am reading this wrong…
Included in the care package were 6 rubbers. There’s a hidden message here I just wasn’t initially picking up one. I believe it is as follows
- Let’s get drunk (bottlecaps)
- Turn me on (remote)
- And screw… (rubbers)
- And screw… (more rubbers)
- Cleanup (swab)
- Cuddle on the Couch and watch Season 1 of Sex in the City (remote again)
- Screw… (yep, rubbers)
- Get some late nite chinese (fortune cookie)
- and screw
I suspect this phone cord is a bondage proposition. Which doesn’t really surprise me in the least considering what a slave driver he is.
I counted every bottlecap. 41. I suspect there was a message there, but 28 bottlecaps fell out of the loosely taped box in transit. The keychain/finger cuffs is most CERTAINLY a sexual proposition.
Regardless, it’s nice to receive mail. Even if it’s a box of crap. Could have been ziplocked catshit, so I guess I made out OK this year.
