[Infowarrior] - OT: Help Wanted (humor?)

[Richard Forno]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2015/oct/08/us-house-speaker-wanted-ad-guardian

HELP WANTED IMMEDIATE OPENING - SPEAKER, US House of Representatives (Washington, DC)

compensation: $223,500 
employment type: full-time 

One-time historic opportunity to lead an entire house of Congress 

NEVER WORK ANOTHER WEEKEND 

• Full-time salary and benefits for extremely part-time work in gorgeous National Capitol 
• Gluttony for punishment and lackluster organizational skills a must 
• Confidence on camera a plus 
• And for the Love of God know when to shut the hell up on Hannity. 
• Successful applicant will have serious fundraising chops and a credible haircut. 
• Are YOU a self-starter with at least 5 years’ experience teaching kindergarten, domestic obedience school, encyclopedia salesmanship or equal? 
• Do YOU like meetings, talking on the phone, dull inactivity and golf? 
• Are YOU from a state? 

NEVER WORK ANOTHER WEEKEND 

• The US Congress is currently accepting applications for a 62nd speaker of the House, responsible for crafting legislative strategy, humoring bug-eyed colleagues and decrying Washington gridlock while keeping things nice for the boys who write the checks. 

• SECOND IN LINE FOR THE PRESIDENCY 
• although that probably won’t happen. 
• but you will get to golf with him 
• Must be able to pretend fake deal with the president that fell through – that was on purpose 
• (required) pulse 
• (preferred) current member of House of Representatives 
• (clincher) Republican 
• Salary $223,500 
• Oil painting of you 
• Box seats for pope 
• Occasional overnight work but there’s pizza 
• Apply promptly – open until filled. And possibly longer 

	• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
	• do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers

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It's better to burn out than fade away.