Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Box Of Shit

Thanks for the box of shit Jericho. Christmas came late this year.

This arrived a couple days ago. Since I actually have a job, I couldn’t be home to receive the package. And since the post office operates only during hours where most productive citizens are at work, I had to sit outside the postoffice and call in late for work to receive the fucking thing.

As you can see, it was clearly fucking worth it.

It came with a lovely DVD player remote, the kind that comes with the $36.99 walmart DVD players. I’ve always kept mine for fear of someday needing the damned things. Jericho’s solution to “Donate” the fucking things is a far greater idea. I’m thinking of sending mine to the next Postal victim.

Speaking of which, why couldn’t he fucking send this shit off to some postal victim. I guess I’m just reading this wrong. Well, in thinking more of it, I most certainly am reading this wrong…

Included in the care package were 6 rubbers. There’s a hidden message here I just wasn’t initially picking up one. I believe it is as follows

  1. Let’s get drunk (bottlecaps)
  2. Turn me on (remote)
  3. And screw… (rubbers)
  4. And screw… (more rubbers)
  5. Cleanup (swab)
  6. Cuddle on the Couch and watch Season 1 of Sex in the City (remote again)
  7. Screw… (yep, rubbers)
  8. Get some late nite chinese (fortune cookie)
  9. and screw

I suspect this phone cord is a bondage proposition. Which doesn’t really surprise me in the least considering what a slave driver he is.

I counted every bottlecap. 41. I suspect there was a message there, but 28 bottlecaps fell out of the loosely taped box in transit. The keychain/finger cuffs is most CERTAINLY a sexual proposition.

Regardless, it’s nice to receive mail. Even if it’s a box of crap. Could have been ziplocked catshit, so I guess I made out OK this year.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Coder Expectations

Programming is, in several aspects, both a technical skill and art, as well as an endless expectations refactoring effort.

For instance, I have a project where I’m being asked to implement a mediawiki instance within a RoR application. People, I believe, have learned to accept my answer that an integration between RoR and MediaWiki is impossible. They wanted the mediawiki content to appear in a tab inside the application, and appear to be a part of the existing site. Short of some crazy hacks involving parsing an external wiki’s HTML output, and inserting content into it’s database via the rails app, or doing some nasty iframe crud, I can’t see how on earth I could manage this.

So, instead people now want me to find a RoR wiki, and import the contents of these mediawiki’s into the new RoR one.

Sure. Except there isn’t a reliable way to parse mediawiki’s meta language, and things like templates and the like make it a near impossibility. Getting a wiki up on rails isn’t a problem, it’s getting the data from another wiki that’s the problem. Not going to happen.

So, now I get to explain this. And I’m guaranteed to make people unhappy. They may even seek an outside opinion. Fine. Any “Yes” answer they receive will invariably involve hacking something up fierce, and that is not the kinda thing I commit myself to. Yuk.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Sortable Scriptaculous

OK, figured out what was up. In the rails helper you either need to identify the ID of a scrollable container element, or ‘window’. I tried the scrollable div, and that didn’t work. Well it worked but the behavior of it was strange.

Instead, do scroll: “window”

Works like a champ in every browser I’ve tried.

So, I guess scriptaculous doesn’t suck, I do. What else is new.

Scriptaculous Is Almost As Annoying As Jericho

So I have a need for a sortable drag and drop list. Since I’m using rails, I clearly favor using scriptaculous for this. Utilizing the rails helpers, I tell it that I want it as a tree, and scrollable. Utilizing Safari, all seems well. Except trying to drag the goddamned elements through a scrolling viewport.

Assuming I’d fux0red up, or that the rails helpers were borked, I fire up Firefox to test with. Firefox will have nothing of it, throwing a huge goddamned error and not allowing the drag and drop. Pissy that I am, I throw my piece of shit mighty mouse into my monitor.

After a trip to staples, and a $300 monitor later, I’m at it again.

I fire up Opera, and holy-shit-jobs, it works. Except that on any sizeable list, Opera slows to a crawl on the drag and drop. Pissed off, but unwilling to spend another $300, I change the code to make my lists more precise, which will later prove to be a pain in the ass, but it’s fucking better than nothing I guess.

I rarely have a need for something like this, but I’d have thought that a library that’s beyond a 1.0 release would fucking work consistently.

Jericho Rules

Ok, so I take it all back. almost all…he’s still a pain in my nads.