Going Postal


From: "sedrick@gmail.com" (shawkins38@ivytech.edu)
To: lyger-attrition.org
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 15:57:20 -0800
Subject: good morning my AMERICA


"I Sedrick L Hawkins do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and
defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign
and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and
that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the
orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the
Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

Hello Attrition,
First of all I must apologize for my past correspondence. No matter how
much of a cinematic 'tear jerker' of a story I shot for the sheer lack of
organization on my part does not constitute even a mirage of emergency on
anyone's part.
Please understand that with that last statement that I have written
thousands of these S.O.S. letters to the CIA, F.B.I. The Queen of England
and countless others to discover that my America is my America no matter
the mitigating circumstances.

So if I know that there is virtually no community in our human culture
unless you are the 'use, or be used' toy in the cereal box that so many of
us grew up on...why try?

The why is an argument that I am not intelligent enough to deliver with
concise points that. The why would just make you yawn and give me a big fat
'sucks for you'.

You hear a lot of people in this day and age complaining about the economy,
jobs, who was worst Obama, or Bush and so on. What has been a common fact
for quite some time now is that the real White House and America is what we
can accomplish from person to person despite our walks of life and
indifference.

That is the electoral vote that really changes things instead of allowing
what remnants of optimism and hope that can be mustered from a lot of
political promises, which boils down to a vote that ultimately just another
person in our used or be used culture that executed awesome public speaking
and organizational skills with work experience that is completely
optional...to get a job.

To make money and serve the agenda of what our country is...a business. A
corporate institution. No it says a lot if a guy with only an 8th grade
education and a criminal history who is a modern day Schlep Rock can notice
this and recognize the operating components.

Being on the bottom so to speak as long as I have you begin to see things
clearly. You see all the Travon Martin's, Michael Brown's and Eric
Garnett's. You see cops stretched out to thin to exercise judgment in life
or death situations while there left hand is neutralized by federal, state,
city and local government...not to mention the old poor boy network of
politics.

Needless to say like some of you I am not a people person. A misanthrope. I
never cared if gay, or lesbian people got married, but with a 30,000,000
boost from a celebrity it is more about whatever it is about. I do not want
to hold hands and sing a song when shit goes wrong in black culture, or our
world culture.

Life is what it is. The mortar of what is cost to build you own 'My
America' is high. For someone like me more than likely it would cost me my
life. So with the fear of that reality compared to the Catholic, Islamic,
Hindu, or Buddhists style of  ritual when it comes to filling out
applications, getting laid, just making a dollar, the job to find a job, or
the politics to keep a job when people suck as much as they do...what real
options does one have?

When you look out the front door of a 74 year old woman's home whom you
have squatted off of for the better part of thirty years and see four
houses of drug dealers across the street in front of your home, or
generally doing what they please uncontested despite what the system says
you should do, but doesn't say anything  when that system fails call after
call, letter after letter and so on.

Funny story. I tell people when I talk to them about this subject that I am
like one of those African you see on television who are malnourished wit
the large belly and the flies flying around there ass with no place to
sleep. We have a good laugh, but I am not really laughing.

What is integrity when your life is this way? Integrity is just as much of
a fickled thing as it is for our Presidents that have exploited other
cultures under the guise of helping just for the sake of pulling a
Christopher Columbus, or the European Settler's deal on the Indians.

It repeats itself over and over again. So all of this 'be good, or you'll
get punished shit' what does it really mean. It is really another political
ploy to weed out the people who are not willing to go balls deep into the
blood, soul, scabs and bone it takes to make your tally of brick with no
straw like the Israelites of old.

I have no ethnic culture. No family. No religious sect, but the reality
that if I do not do what it takes to make my life something that resembles
normal I will watch another parent die who put their entire life into this,
whatever I am.

Would I like to pull a Bruce Wayne, or get on some Punisher style of agenda
and take it to all of Haughville on my own. I think that I would actually
like that more then having the bright neon billboard of normal that is like
always and never. What I like though and being the hero long enough to
watch myself become the villain isn't my thing. My America ladies and
gentlemen is all that I need and I would pay the Ferry Man whatever the
price for that ride despite where I know that it goes.

Now that I have spent a lot of energy trying to give you a colorful back
story to the bottom line...hopefully you can appreciate that we I say 'Yes
We Can' that Obama is the last thing on my mind. That entitlement is the
last thing on my mind. That I blame anyone is the last thing on my mind.

If you would be so kind as to allow me an introduction o a black hat hacker
I would really appreciate it. As I mentioned I only want to be a scourge to
scum and enjoy a couple of D.C. Comics roles in some people lives. : > )

If you had a price to give me that went beyond money I would pay it. There
are a lot of if's in the world, but I have learned that dealing in
certainties is the only way not to be forsaken. My America ladies and
gentlemen. My America where drugs are sold in the open. Neighbors have no
respect. people have no fear of consequences and the police do not give a
fuck.

Sometimes...more often than not what "the world doesn't need another hero.
What it needs is a monster" -- Various Sources

I plead my case. You could perceive this as the bullshit equivalent of
terrorist talk, but if you are conscious like I hoped you were when I made
contact you would identify with E.T. trying to making that fucking phone
call home.

: > ) Thanks

Yours Truly Sedrick L Hawkins

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