From: lyger (lyger@attrition.org)
To: D C (djcrisp@hotmail.com)
Cc: jericho@attrition.org
Date: Sun, 28 May 2006 17:07:36 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: I have a feeling you might not help but its worth a try


On Mon, 29 May 2006, D C wrote:

": " Hi, I just found out last night that my girlfriend of 2 years has been
": " cheating on me for the last 4 months, I stumbled across an email she sent
": " from my pc but i deleted it because I was so angry. I do know that she uses
": " her hotmail account all the time and I believe there will be more
": " incriminating emails as proof for my case against her. I just need to print
": " the emails for my case but i need her password to get to them. her hotmail
": " address is penguinevic@hotmail.com
": "
": " I know that you probly wont be able to help but even if you could point me
": " in the right direction it would be most appreciated

You don't need her password, and you shouldn't ask total strangers to help
you illegally access her email account.  I can, however, make a few
suggestions:

1. Ask her.  If she lies about it, tell her what you know.  If she still
lies about it, dump her.  If she fesses up and you trust her, try to work
it out.  Keep in mind that if she's already been cheating on you now, she
probably will again so you might seriously want to consider cutting your
losses now.

2. Pump her friends for information.  From my experience, women who look
to get some side action will usually confide (read: brag) to at least one
of their friends about their "conquest".  Whether you get any information
or not, you then can move to substep 2a: try to pump her friends.  Pick
the one most likely to ride the DC Express and make a move.  Either you'll
get lucky or the "friend" will tell your girlfriend, she'll confront you
about it, and you'll have a reason to call her out on her cheating.

3. Dump her and move on, especially right on back to step 2a.  If she has
you upset enough to ask others to assist you in committing a felony, this
may be your best option in the long run.

Good luck.

Dr. Phil Lyger

From: lyger (lyger@attrition.org)
To: D C (djcrisp@hotmail.com)
Date: Mon, 29 May 2006 02:18:00 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: I have a feeling you might not help but its worth a try


On Mon, 29 May 2006, D C wrote:

": " I confronted her, she denied it initially, but the truth came out
": " eventually. Her excuse was "I wasnt doing anything wrong, it was just sex.
": " You lost your drivers liscense so you couldnt come to my house, so i found
": " someone who could fill my need for sex." Needless to say we are no longer
": " together, with what I told her what I thought of her and her actions. She
": " said she knew exactly what she was doing and that it would end the
": " relationsip, but she still did it anyway. But she even had the gall to say
": " to me that she hopes I would forgive her!! She had no intention of telling
": " me, and everyone of her friends knew what was going on, she even went so
": " far to tell me the guy lives within 5 minutes drive from my house. I think
": " the worse thing is she didnt even say she was sorry for what she had done
": " and ruining my life.
": "
": " So, my state of mind at the time of sending you the initial email may not
": " have been all that good, so i appologise for asking you to help.

I know anything I could or might say at this point won't make you feel
any better, but a couple of observations?

1.  You may have made a mistake in seeking our help for finding her email
password, but reading my previous email and (hopefully) considering the
implications of the actions you wanted to take will make you wiser and
stronger in the future.

2.  Obviously, I don't know her or you.  However, I can say that if
everything happened the way you said it did (and I have no reason to
believe otherwise), that she's a cold, heartless bitch who deserves no
forgiveness.  She knew what she was doing.  She knew it would end the
relationship.  She had no reason to tell you anything about the "other
guy" or any other part of her situation with him.  If you have any
thoughts of getting back together with the gutless whore, drop them NOW.
And if you think my calling her a "gutless whore" is wrong, sorry.  She
is.

3.  Your life isn't ruined.  You may feel that way tonight, for the next
few days, or the next couple months.  Your life is YOURS, not hers.  Don't
think of ways to make her life worse or to get back at her.  Leave her
alone and move on.  Focus on you.  Yes, it sucks, but not as badly as it
would suck to cling to a shitty situation that has already been destroyed.

"Sorry" is a five letter word.  "Empowerment" is a longer word.
Sometimes, bigger *is* better.

4.  Get back in the game.  You're not married.  Get some sleep, take a
deep breath, and look out the window in the morning.  Let the sun shine on
your face.  Go for a walk.  Call your mom if she's around.  Go to work.
Talk to people... real people, not cartoon characters like me.

And then go try to fuck every one of her friends you have a shot at.
Except the ugly ones, because they're too easy and won't help your
self-esteem.  Get the HOT ones.  Get them drunk, take them home, and bone
the hell out of them.

And then smile to yourself knowing that you are going to be OK. :)

Dr. Phil Lyger