From: Attrition Groupie (attrition_groupie@hotmail.com)
To: staff@attrition.org
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 2002 17:04:42 +0000
Subject: All your legal are belong to us!

Dear poopyheads,

I am writing to inform you of my intent to think about hiring a lawyer to 
see if I can sue you for a gajillion dollars, 3 cases of vintage port wine, 
a day pass to Disneyland, and an intimate evening with Angelina Jolie (Billy 
Bob is not to be invited).

After numerous attempts to show my prowess as a 31337 h4x0r, you have 
ignored me, and not given me any 0-day code to break into my school with. 
Since I had told all two of my friends that I was going to be in the 
Attrition Gang, now I look stupid because I'm not, and it's all your fault. 
That is slander, defamation, copyright infringement, and racism all at the 
same time. So as you can see, I have an open and shut case against you, and 
I urge you to settle out of court and avoid the embarrasment of being 
exposed for the Big Meanies you really are.

I'm also going to tell on you for having that gun page up there. As everyone 
knows, guns are bad, and it's because of guns that we have crime. Since you 
are stockpiling Weapons of Medium Destruction, I am obligated to turn you 
over to the FBI, the CIA, FEMA, ATF, ARF, MEOW, MOO, RIBBIT, and BAAAAA.

If you had just let me in your gang in the first place then I wouldn't have 
to do all this. You still can you know. I bet if you let me in we can be 
bestest friends forever and do uber-ereet-ultra hacks on everybody and be 
even more cool than those guys over at the Happy Hacker.

*05aMa-b1n-H4ck1n*

P.S. My dad went to school with this guy who has a cousin that dated a law 
student back in 1962, so I can get all this done for free. Ha!