From: Michael Doherty 
	To: bmartin@attrition.org
	Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 15:28:10 EST
	Subject: Expert hacker needed: $$handsum reward$$
	
	To anybody that has the ability and the gall to hack my grades to near 
	perfection shall be rewarded handsomely.  This can be negotiated, but am in 
	need of an expert w/o a trail.  The university that I am enrolled with has 
	politicly give fall to my future and am in deep jeopardy, please with all 
	the life in me needs a better past! I will gladly keep this mono-to-mono 
	with you.  This can be simple and I wish I had the ability and the 
	confidence in doing so but do not, and am pleading for an expert to do 
	so....help  Michaelz34@hotmail.com




	Normally I'm not one to utilize the admittedly cheap method of 
	critiquing spelling and grammar as a response to a mail...but
	Mr. Doherty, it's quite obvious from your email -why- your grades
	are in such a perilous state.  That said:
 
	> Subject: Expert hacker needed: $$handsum reward$$

	Excuse me.  You're in a university and you can't spell 'handsome'?
 
	> To anybody that has the ability and the gall to hack my grades to near
	> perfection shall be rewarded handsomely.

	That's not a complete sentence, it's awkwardly formed, and it lacks
	a subject.  You did, however, manage to spell 'handsomely' correctly
	this time.
 
	> The university that I am enrolled with has politicly give fall to my
	> future and am in deep jeopardy, please with all the life in me needs
	> a better past!

	Oh, man, where do I begin?  First: you've ended a sentence fragment
	with a preposition.  Second: try 'politically'.  Third: 'has give'?
	Were you asleep when they covered 'verbs' in first grade?  Fourth:
	'am' needs an antecedent.  Find yourself a pronoun.  Fifth: 'with all
	the life in me needs a better past!'  I can't really touch that.  It
	speaks for itself.
 
	> I will gladly keep this mono-to-mono with you.

	The phrase is 'mano a mano', meaning 'hand to hand'.
 
	I could go on, but I'm already bored.  Sir, you're a certifiable idiot,
	and I can't imagine there's anything 'political' about your poor
	grades.  I'd imagine, frankly, that the best thing that could 
	possibly happen in terms of your future would be a few more years
	in school.  Get used to it, Mikey.