F U C K E D U P C O L L E G E K I D S ------------------------------------------------------- - t h e p o e t r y v e n t u r e - ------------------------------------------------------- Imaginative Composition bought into being..... ------------------------------------------------------- From my warped psychy comes pain, yet cold understanding of what I am. A force to change. To change what should be right to anarchy. Pshychotic tendecies drive me towards the brink of insanity, but my fear pushes me back. I hold on by a thread of my existance, hold on for dear life not to lose myself in this storm. But what am I really? A force to change good to evil or to change myself from evil to good? My feelings are strange. I am confused, but I feel as though I understand. Do I let my anger drive me, or my fear of it drive me? Will my hatred make me flush these feelings of confusion, or delute them beyond recognition? My mind grasp at shadows of what used to be, only to return empty from the depths of my soul. Cold, very cold are my dreams of nothing. Only to wake up to an even colder reality. My mental abuse is so intolrable, but the harder I try to kill the pain, the longer it lingers and grows. I feel so confused........ Shadow Wolf An Explanation of "Self" "Self", a word too hard to describe. "Self", myself in the shadows I hide. "Self", These walls of "my" prefixed from the dawn of time. "Self", "my"self hiding "my" thoughts in "my" rhyme. For who is myself, myself is my soul. You are amongst those who took time to know. Those few that are divine pass by my defenses with ease. Those few that have grace granted me peace. Piece of mind for ensuring my soul was not distraught. The kindness you showed with your true intrinsic thought. I feel like myself, no longer alone in these halls. For you have touched me, advancing through all of my walls. Getting to know me for so little do. Sharing our lives as most never do. To you that have blessed me, you grow in my heart. Time may move on but a memory will not. I have written you in as a memory to me. As to what the future holds we shall just see. mizaru Outlaws It's easy for you to sit here, And tell me that I'm wrong. It's easy for you to mock me, To tell me I'm a con, It's easy to sit here and talk shit to me, But all these times you criticize, Have you ever watched me work, Seen life through my eyes? The tedeous work I do, To make sure things are in order? I'm unlike a grinding tool, I'm no pestel and I'm no mortar. I don't do it to hurt you, I don't do it for fun, I do it for enjoyment, I do it when I'm glum. I do it to outsmart you, I do it for my mind, I'm gaining knowledge on you, knowledge of every kind. Devil-C Reaper Time Time knows nothing of mercy or sacrifice It only knows of witherings Waiting for loved ones to return Decomposition Time is the worst of enemies Working against its victim Without their conscious knowledge Slowly No truce No end Curroding life Clogging arteries Calcifying bones Until one day someone calls you old And your reflection agrees spleen Lately Little 10-15-98 little late, white noise hum from the highway... whispering your name staring into your photo grain eyes, not quite the same miss the heat of your body next to mine your hand holding... mine little later, soft click of the plastic keys writing memories of you blankly gazing into the electron guns waiting patiently for a change wish those the seconds would tick. . . faster! later now, small cracks of static charges as I pull up the blanket looking through that grimy window stars, not quite as bright levi Dream Infested Waters dream infested waters baseline of negativity your happiness isn't wanted a little numb in spirit a lot weak in morale as if to say justify my thinking to my self, as if i care any semblance of respect not for me, certainly no for her, the caring one mea culpa BOUNDRIES I stand on the beach, alone in my mind echoing the past i have left behind journeying to a future i have not found wondering where i am truely bound pushing my boundries to extreme dreaming to much or so it seems i stare at the void next to me feeling the lonliness i cannot see. blaise ------------------------------------------------------- E D I T O R S: jericho@dim.com, geekgrl@attrition.org ------------------------------------------------------- to receive new issues via e-mail, send mail to majordomo@attrition.org with "subscribe poetry". if you do not have FTP access and would like back issues, send a list of missing issues and they will be sent. ------------------------------------------------------- A V A I L A B I L I T Y: AnonFTP: FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK/POETRY WWW: http://www.attrition.org/~poetry ------------------------------------------------------- (c) Copyright. All poems copyright by original author. -------------------------------------------------------