[Infowarrior] - Job Posting: Cyber Arms Dealer

[Richard Forno]

Some humour to start your Monday!  --rf

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Job Posting: Cyber Arms Dealer (500k – 750k + bonus)
http://thecipblog.com/?p=271
December 20th, 2009 Matthew Holt

Employer: Restricted Business Name (RBN)

Position Type: Part-time contractor, sales
Salary: Commission only (est. 500k – 750k), uncapped upside opportunity
Bonus: Top-sellers will be invited to the annual company picnic in a
secret location

Travel Required: 0%
Target Clients: Disgruntled 3rd world dictators, other national  
governments
Business Hours: 24/7

Education Level: None required
Experience Level: No previous cyber security or business experience  
required
Target Age: 0-99 years

There is a once in a lifetime opportunity to become part of the
largest, most efficient business in the world focusing on Cyber
Security issues as it seeks to expand its Cyber Warfare product line.
Our products have replaced the traditional wares of arms dealers (i.e.
tanks, planes, nuclear weapons) and are crucial to the successful
wartime activities of our clients as they plot integrated military
attack strategies against the critical infrastructures of their
enemies. With an extensive team of sales professionals, we are already
delivering a full spectrum of cyber security-related products to a
worldwide client base which you will be able to leverage.

Principal Duties and Responsibilities:

The successful candidate must be able to access the Internet, download
the pre-configured software package provided by the company, and click
“save and run” when prompted. Basic understanding of cyber security
helpful, but not really required.

Primary activities involve monitoring incoming messages for requests
for the company’s Distributed Denial of Service (DDOS) Attack 2.0
product line and establishing contact with the potential client.  You
will not need to understand how the DDOS Attack 2.0 product works as
we have a large staff of technicians to take care of this for you.
You will merely act as the middleman to handle the transaction, of
which you will retain a certain percentage (to be negotiated).

Although the target market is worldwide, it is vital to the employer
that the candidate is physically located in Russia, China, Indonesia,
or Ukraine.  This ensures minimal risk of disruption of company
activity by law enforcement, and will also help the candidate ensure
continued flow of low-risk income as he builds his customer base.
Thanks to the global standardization of Internet protocols, you will
be able to deliver the DDOS Attack 2.0 product line to your clients
anywhere in the world in real-time (no shipping charges or customs
duties) from these any of these four countries.

Desired Characteristics:

    * Excellent prospecting, new client generation and negotiation  
skills
    * Successful sales track record
    * Understanding of money transfer options (i.e. PayPal, Western  
Union)
    * Desire and ability to work alone, ability to operate under
little supervision
    * Proficiency in typing and reading messages on your computer
    * Must be enthusiastic and positive
    * Optimist at heart and passionate about selling the company’s  
products
    * Should have laptop with WiFi access to avoid geolocation by law
enforcement

Above all else, loyalty to the company is required.  In the unlikely
event that some pesky law enforcement officer should happen to
apprehend you, you should understand up front that revealing any
information about the company will result in long-term, painful
punishment to those closest to you.

How to apply: Please access your favorite IRC channel and enter job
code: 0b1010011010