[Infowarrior] - OpEd: Hating the TSA

[Richard Forno]

While perhaps a tad direct, I agree 100% with the analysis......rf

http://americandaily.com/article/15942

Hating the TSA
By Chuck Muth (10/08/2006)

I don¹t use the ³H² word lightly, but when it comes to the TSA -
Transportation Security Administration or Thousands Standing Around,
depending on your perspective - I make an exception. Oh, how I hate thee,
let me count the ways...

While acknowledging that my horror experiences with airport security are far
from unique, or even unusual these days, at least, dear reader, you can be
sure these stories are real and not some made-up Internet hoax. My most
recent run-in with the TSA involves the recently-discovered deadly threat of
carrying toothpaste on a plane at 30,000 feet.

When the TSA banned Colgate and Crest a couple months ago, most of us
thought: 1.) That¹s just plain stupid. 2.) That¹s par for the course over at
the TSA. The good news, however, is that some air travelers aren¹t taking
such stupidity sitting down on their flotation devices any longer. They¹re
speaking up and speaking out. They¹re letting the TSA have it. And they¹re
finding kindred spirits all across the nation, thanks to the Internet (God
bless Al Gore for inventing it!).

So under public pressure, the TSA, in its infinite bureaucratic wisdom,
recently relaxed its prohibitions against deadly Sensodyne, Speed Stick and
Listerine. You may now bring these potentially lethal items onboard with you
- but only if they¹re in small quantities and only if packed in a sealable,
clear plastic bag. (Apparently the notion of three terrorists all buying a
ticket on the same flight and then mixing their toothpastes together to
obtain the quantity necessary to bring down a jumbo jet never occurred to
the world¹s leading airport security organization.)

So on my recent trip to our nation¹s capital, I packed miniature containers
of toothpaste, deodorant and mouthwash in the sealable, clear plastic
toiletry bag which came with my suitcase (proudly purchased from a non-union
Wal-Mart) and took off for Reno International Airport. And that¹s where the
fun began.

Airport security under the TSA generally encompasses three separate
operations: There¹s the well-known long, snaking lines for the document
verification phase (³Papers, please.²). There¹s the
take-off-your-shoes-and-walk-through-the-beeper-machine phase. And then, if
you¹re unlucky enough to set off Mr. Beeper, there¹s the
spread-your-legs-and-extend-your-arms perp-search phase.

But in Reno they¹ve now added a fourth layer for those brave passengers who
dare to pack personal hygiene items. Before you even get in line to show
your boarding pass and photo ID, you now must stop at a new table manned by
three full-time, government-trained, taxpayer-funded Barney Fifes. There you
must present your bag of lethal weapon toiletries for close inspection to
assure that you are carrying only 3 ounces of toothpaste and not 4 - and
that said toothpaste is contained in a government-approved sealable clear
plastic bag.

Alas, while my toiletries passed the size and quantity test, my sealable
clear plastic toiletry bag - which was manufactured for the specific purpose
of carryingŠwell, toiletries - did not.

According to the Einstein who inspected my bag, a sealable, clear plastic
toiletry bag designed for the expressed purpose of carrying toiletries was
not acceptable to the government. If I wanted to carry potentially lethal
toothpaste on the plane, Goober explained, it had to be packed in a
government-approved sealable clear plastic bag designed to carryŠsandwiches.
And if I wanted to get out of line and go back downstairs, Mr. Gump
informed, I could purchase a proper sandwich bag for my miniature tube of
toothpaste in the gift shop.

My head, which was not at the time considered by the TSA to be a potentially
lethal weapon, was ready to explode.

Not wanting to miss my plane, I opted, without good cheer, to allow Deputy
Dawg to confiscate my Crest. But here¹s the kicker. While this TSA security
professional removed and confiscated my toothpaste, the bonehead missed two
double-edge razors in the same bag, as well as a banned cigarette lighter.
Boy, don¹t I feel secure now!

But you know what? This kind of bureaucratic stupidity isn¹t what I hate
most about the TSA. And it¹s not their inefficiency. It¹s not their
incompetence. It¹s not the unnecessary inconvenience. It¹s not even the
expensive false sense of security TSA is giving the traveling public.

No, what I hate most about the TSA is how it¹s turned so many supposedly
freedom-loving American citizens into sheep who mindlessly stand for such
indignities and inanities all in the name of some illusory feeling of
safety. The TSA has made random search-and-seizures without any cause, let
alone probable, a perfectly acceptable practice.

And woe to the traveler who raises his voice in objection to being searched
like a common criminal all because a machine beeped because you foolishly
forgot to remove 73 cents worth of coins from your pocket. Your fellow
passengers won¹t cheer your knowledge of constitutional rights or your vocal
opposition to having them violated by gun-toting, badge-wearing government
agents. No, no, no! You¹ll be mocked and ridiculed. You¹ll be eyed as a
trouble-maker deserving of even more scrutiny, if not a cavity search. After
all, if you have nothing to hide then what are you getting so worked up
about, right?

I may hate the TSA, but I loathe the government school system which has
systematically destroyed the pro-liberty/anti-government heritage our
Founders passed on to us. ³Give me liberty or give me death²? Give me a
break. Patrick Henry would be stoned with miniature tubes of AquaFresh by
fellow passengers were he to utter such nonsense in a TSA line.

When exactly did we lose the spirit of George Washington who once said,
³Government is not reason, it is not eloquence - it is force. Like fire, it
is a dangerous servant and fearful master"? Or Thomas Jefferson who said,
³The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions,
that I wish it to be always kept alive²?

As you wait in line to show your government-approved toiletry bag, filled
with your government-approved portions of mouthwash and toothpaste, before
presenting your identification papers to an armed government agent, you
realize Jefferson¹s spirit of resistance is largely dead.

May God have mercy on the political souls of the idiot Republicans who
brought this plague of airport security federal bureaucrats upon us. May
they rest in TSA hell.


Chuck Muth is president of Citizen Outreach, a non-profit public policy
advocacy organization in Washington, D.C. The views expressed are his own
and do not necessarily reflect the views of Citizen Outreach.