[Infowarrior] - OT: Fine Fast Food Is Just 'Gourmeh'

[Richard Forno]

(Not tech/security related but just a fun piece to read........rf)

Fine Fast Food Is Just 'Gourmeh'
http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,71561-0.html?tw=wn_index_24
By Lore Sjöberg
02:00 AM Aug, 09, 2006

I live in Berkeley, California, a town so dedicated to gourmet food that if
you wanted to find artisanal cheese made with milk from a grass-fed goat
that received daily shiatsu massage and affirmations from its own spirit
coach, you might have to go to two stores to find it.

There was a time, before sushi hit strip malls, chai hit Starbucks, and Iron
Chef hit the airwaves, that this was considered peculiar.

What's an arugula and why does it cost 10 times as much as good old iceberg
lettuce? Berkeley prides itself on being peculiar, so all was well.

Things have been changing, though, as things do. I don't go to Sizzler that
often, but I'm pretty sure they didn't used to have baby spinach and blue
cheese crumbles to go along with the iceberg lettuce and shredded cheddar.

Pizza chains, once wary of this newfangled pesto substance, are now offering
all sorts of psychedelic combinations involving artichoke hearts, Thai
peanut sauce, hummus, roasted walnuts and presumably some of that massaged
goat cheese if you ask politely.

Options are always nice, and I crave novel taste sensations the way panda
bears crave bamboo shoots, so initially I thought this was a good thing. And
it would be, except that there seems to be some law of food that there's
only so much decent flavor in the country, and as more outlets begin to
offer it, it starts to taste more and more like something you'd get at a
Target snack bar.

Croissants become more like dinner rolls. Burger chains talk up their "Angus
beef" where "Angus" is apparently Latin for "indistinguishable from the
other stuff." You start getting sandwiches where the bread is laced with
green speckles and topped with white powder, but these may as well be
confetti and sawdust for all they add to the flavor. I have a word for food
that tries to look like something you'd get at the queen's birthday dinner
but tastes like something you'd poke holes in before you microwave it:
gourmeh.

I figure there are two reasons there's so much gourmeh food out there these
days. First off, the mainstream always prefers it if you take the unknown
and make it more, well, known. Rough edges are rounded off. Afrika Bambaataa
becomes MC Hammer. Actually torn and worn clothing becomes carefully
pre-torn and pre-worn fashion. Secondly, quality food generally costs money.
Fresh herbs are expensive, but dry herbs and white flour are cheap, and just
changing "cheeseburger" to "gourmet deluxe burger du fromage" on the menu
costs next to nothing.

My solution, because obviously the world is turning to me as the bellwether
of food culture, is to let food be what it is. I love weird cheeses. I have
some goat cheese downstairs that may or may not have involved shiatsu, but
it is washed-rind. It was made a few miles from here and it's wonderful
stuff, but I don't expect that Yum Brands is going to be able to make a
gordita out of it without charging more than I'm willing to pay for made-up
pseudo-Mexican fast food.

There's a lot of great cheap food out there. Hamburgers and ribs can be
amazing even at a family style price point, if you know where to go. It's
hard to screw up a hot dog as long as you don't try something stupid like
making it healthy. And for God's sake, don't try to make your national
chain-restaurant sandwiches gourmet, just work a little harder to make them
good.

- - -
Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg
eventually overcame these handicaps to become a globe-trotter, a day-tripper
and a chicken tractor.