Lazlo and HNN: We Gotta Talk

Tue Dec 22 23:11:42 EST 2009

lazlo[at]attrition.org

so... it looks like Space Rogue from Hacker News Network wanted to be "nice" to me and ACK'd my existence in a HNNCast. about 6:55 in there, he mentions me... and then says "a STUPID NAME for a STUPID LOOKING SQUIRREL!" WTF?!? he said "you know we love you attrition"... well, DUH. if you're going to pick on attrition, mention Jericho's peanut butter fetish or make fun of Lyger for... well, for being Lyger, but you can leave ME out of it, i'm a SQUIRREL, dammit. i like nuts. and sprog is just mad because my granpappy used to spell check his news posts on the original HNN back in 1937 or whenever it was. JERK!

a couple of weeks later, about 4:01 into another HNNCast, homeslice mentions me again... but in almost a sad way, like for some REASON a SQUIRREL having his own FLASK is PATHETIC. look here, sprog, do YOU have YOUR own flask? if so, i haven't seen it, so SHOW ME THE NUT^H^H^H FLASK. that's right, "was a squirrel, was a lush, lazlo's wine-o gear...o" L. *CLAP* Z. L. O. try doing that whole song using "space rogue" and your brain will implode. trust me, i asked cji to give it a shot and he barfed up a burrito. weak sauce there. oh yeah... nice sunglasses there, sprog, trying to hide that cold black squirrel hating heart. we know how you are. hater.

so here's the deal, space rogue: you mentioned me first, so you must need me. our offer: we'll give you 4 walnuts, 18 peanuts and 1 flask in return for a 10 second HNN video sponsorship, 3 RED shirts and 13 minutes of squirrel love with Courtnee.

ok... we'll trade for either one of your bitchez. Courtnee or Tan will do. *whisper* which one is Tan again? *whisper* yeah, that works.

either way, this game is ON. either give in to my demands or i'll crawl up your pants leg and hibernate for the winter with your nuts (which would then be *my* nuts).

Lazlo out, and don't make me say it twice. i had to correct Lyger's spelling at least 42 times for this despite his "supposedly opposable thumbs". yeah, i'm pissed.

For all flask sales, 10% of proceeds will be donated to the The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The rest will go to attrition.org staff's liquor funds to better generate content for the web site. Nothing goes to HNN except our undying respect and the number to our answering service in case Courtnee and/or Tan call (preferably both, and at the same time).