Bless The Child: A supernatural thriller about a childless woman (Kim Basinger) whose strung out sister (Angela Bettis) abandons her newborn child (Holliston Coleman). The child is perceived to be autistic, but when her mother and her husband (Rufus Sewell) come back for the child, we learn that her specialness goes beyond her disability. She turns out to be the last Savior for humankind and Basinger is helped by a occult-educated detective (Jimmy Smits) and the search for the little prodigy continues. This is just ANOTHER tired reiteration of "The Omen" that Hollywood still feels they need to remake. (Hey people, they got it right the first time!) The plot is no different than any other Satan vs. God movie. This turkey was directed by Chuck Russell, I guess the Devil made him do it.

Billz Movie Worthiness Scale: D

The Austonauts Wife: This film is billed as a psychological thriller, but it's yet another remake of yet another Hollywood film...a sort of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" meets "Rosemary's Baby". Astronaut Spencer Armacost (Johnny Depp) lost communications for 2 minutes on his last shuttle mission. When he comes back his wife Jillie (Charlize Theron), notices that he's not quite the same. She suspects something sinister, but attributes it to her pregnancy with twins. After a series of shocking tragedies and a confrontation by a former NASA big-wig privy to secret information, Jillie starts to believe that her husband isn't her husband anymore. The pace and feeling of the movie felt collapsed and empty. The predictably "twist" ending was absurd and a bit insulting as it had not an iota of tenability. I am not sure that there was much potential to this movie to begin with. However, originality would have been a start. Director Rand Ravich was really a space cadet when he did this one.

Billz Movie Worthiness Scale: D

American Psycho II:They say that some things are better the second time around....not this one. Well first of all we find out that the main character (Mila Kunis) is the only survivor of Patrick Bateman's killing spree (this negates the entire ending of the first movie.) She goes on to college and wishes to pursue a career in criminology and ultimately graduate the FBI Academy. However, her fisrt step is obtaining a higly coveted position as the sidekick of her instructor (William Shattner). She has no problem with killing anyone who gets in her way and undertakes very creative methods accomplish it and arranges everything so that in the end it would never point to her and the crimes would be secret and seamless. However, once you are done suspending your disbelief, which for me was about 15 minutes into the film you realize that the likelihood of her getting away with or even going around undetected throughout the film is absolutely inconceivable. The original movie had a very solid and tight plot while this film's plot had holes larger than the ass of someone who'd just been fist-fucked. Which is kinda how I felt after seeing this disaster. Director Morgan J. Freeman is a Psychotic American for putting this one out.

Billz Movie Worthiness Scale: D

Billz Movie Worthiness Scale Values:

A = movie tickets and popcorn for 2 (about $40)
B = buy the DVD when it comes out ($25)
C = rent it
D = wait for it to be on cable/pay TV
E = wait for it to be on regular TV

All Hail The Czarina

main page ATTRITION feedback