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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Random Thoughts
---------------
Hmmm well just a quick but somewhat amusing/scary/interesting thought that
just came to light recently. I've thought this before but it was just its
reoccurance due to a specific situation that made me think about writing on
it. To put it in a nutshell I've noticed that we humans need other humans to
keep us safe from ourselves... To clarify: Those people that seems to spend
an extended period of time self absorbed in deep introspection usually are
far less carefree than those others that are constantly 'distracted' via
social interaction. The slightly humorous part, its almost as if we need
social interaction to keep ourselves safe from our own mind. I realize that
I'm generalizing things slightly when I say this, but nonetheless mental
instability is something inflicted upon us by ourselves, deep introspection,
totally self absorption in our own world created by our own mind. Of course
chemical imbalances or environmental circumstances all play a role in the
cause of mental sickness, however mental sickness' battlefield is carried
out in what is the essence of our individuality, our thoughts. Nothing
ground breaking in this, just more of a general observation and its irony.
It almost seems as if our mind is not the controlling mechanism of our
existence, its almost as if this mass that we call the brain is an entity on
its own and not our human defining entity. Almost as if it has its own
agenda, our conscious thoughts occupy a small portion, something really
insignificant and with minimal control. Reason I say this is as follows. As
we all know, soldiers can become shell shocked after seeing all that
destruction, death and other sickening actions, which the mind deals with by
a variety of means. However, all these means are not something that we can
consciously define, or say that we consciously trained ourselves to follow.
All of these defense mechanisms were the result of subconscious changes,
almost as if there is that other part of our brain that controls us, that
does anything necessary to sustain its own existance. Reason I say its own
existence is because invariably these changes alienate use as humans from
the rest of society... which obviously isn't something that any sane
individual would want. Selfish little thing isn't it?
So I guess all those 'shallow' individuals that are so carefree
are the ones who are the most sane? I don't know, it might be true. One
thing that all deep thinkers like to believe is that in someway we are
'deeper', we have more substance, our personality is defined more by our
actions rather than our appearance. I can't argue with that, but is that
really something to pursue? If I had a choice I can't say that I would
really want to be in the present situation that I am. I think that I would
prefer to be one of the carefree and shallow.. after all what's the point of
living if the only memories one will have is of those lonesome days and
nights with oneself and one's thoughts. The quality of one's life is defined
largely by the memories, material wealth plays a very small part in the
grand scheme of happiness. Memorable moments rarely if every center around
moments of seclusion, not to say one can't only have memories of seclusion.
The urge to criticize 'shallow' individuals is rooted a jealousy most of the
Time. I say this because I'm aware of myself being guilty of this. I think I
could have so much to say, some much to discuss with people.. however I also
lack the ability to communicate on the level of the 'shallow', to make
inane conversation. Once again this is not a criticism of the 'shallow'
people, just a description of what our present society considers of that
sort of conversation.
In the end maybe we should all force ourselves to get out, to mix with as
many people as possible. Don't just get drawn towards those people like
oneself, its good to know people similar to oneself, but what's the point of
mulling over the same stuff again and again. I for one am tired of always
talking about the way things are, and the way to resolve them... I think all
people of reasonably mental stability are aware of how to resolve their
situation, they just do not have the desire to do it... or fear it too much.
Inner^Kry - 15/May/99
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