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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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How to Waste Your Life & Improve Your Low Self-Esteem
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by Annoying Undeserving People
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or
How to be an 31337 IRC h4x0r
Since a lot of people seem to be interested in learning how to take over
channels on IRC, I thought I'd outline the basic steps.
#1. First of all, you have to be a complete loser. Otherwise, you'd either
be accepted in the channel, or have something better to do.
#2. Secondly, you must have no life. It takes time to find/cause splits,
set up bot-nets, etc. If you had a life, you wouldn't have time to do all
this.
#3. You must be a vindictive prick. You're going to be a pain in the ass
to a lot of people, and if you're not a complete asshole, you might
actually feel bad about it.
#4. You must have low self-esteem. Ok, so this isn't required, but it
helps to motivate you so you can sit around and feel good about yourself.
If you don't have low self-esteem, then you wouldn't need to take over
channels to fuel your ego.
#5. You must be a coward. If you weren't afraid, then you'd be able to
deal with the people you have a problem with somewhere other than IRC.
#6. You must be a wannabe. If you had any real "skillz", you'd be out
using them constructively, but you don't so you're resigned to h4x0r1ng IRC.
#7. You must be able to lie to yourself. That way, you can justify your
actions in your own mind, and won't have to worry when others present you
with evidence of how pathetic you are.
#8. Lastly, and most importantly, you have to be able to feign
indifference. You have to be able to pretend like it doesn't matter when
people don't kiss your ass like you really want them too. You have to act
like what you did was no big deal, when in reality you're so proud that
you're bursting. You have to be able to brush it off when people come back
at you with intelligent arguments about how lame takeovers are.
So you see, taking over an IRC channel is not much different than taking
over your little sisters tea party, it's just a matter of being pathetic
enough to want to do it.
And for those of you wondering, no I'm not just whining because "my"
channel got taken over. I don't even have a channel. It does get annoying
though when the channels I go into to kill boredom are suddenly invite only
because some lil' IRC hacker's daddy gave him too much attention.
The easiest thing to do when your channel is taken over, though, is to
simply make another channel & ignore the idiots. If they take over your new
channel, just move again. They'll eventually grow tired of you and go
search for somebody else to give 'em as much attention as their daddy use to.
-InVerse
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