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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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about work
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So I'm a chick. A chick that happens to be a unix system administrator
with about 3 years of experience. During those three years I have
learned more than syslog and perl. I have learned that Women Aren't
Supposed to Know How to Use a Computer. I have worked for two
companies. In both of them, my job description is, in nicer terms,
Grunt. In both teams I have been a part of, I have been the equivalent
of the nice assistant who gets coffee for her boss. While Senior Unix
Rocket Scientists 1 and 2 go off to add new services, change and
design network architectures, and Make the World a Better Place,
I wrestle with backups, adduser, and alias files.
Why is this, I wonder? I have a few theories. One possible theory is
that because men have penises, they must also have more brain power.
Like the stegosaurus with a smart tail, the penis makes complicated
things like TCP/IP much easier for men to understand. Another theory
is that breasts suck intelligence from women. Women have to support
all of that extra body fat, which takes more energy, which makes time
for comprehension of things like file descriptors simply too
difficult. Makes the brain smaller, you know? My favorite theory,
though, is that many of the men in this industry are simply pigs.
They like having A Chick on the team so that they have someone
they can feel superior to. Even if they are complete nimrods, they
can rest easy in the knowledge that their manager will gladly place
the blame on the dumb gash who doesn't know how to do anything.
Plus, it's someone they can make fun of without repercussion,
because if The Chick complains, she probably will never be able to
work in the industry again. Since I have been a system administrator,
I have had disk drives thrown at me, I have been called an idiot,
I have been patted on the ass, I have been asked about my sex life,
and a host of other things which never seem to happen to Rocket
Scientists 1 and 2.
So now that we have established that there are a ton of male swine
in the computer industry, let's talk about the women. There seems
to be 2 major types of female computer geeks. There are the
Femme Fatales and the Butch Bitches. The Femme Fatales wear skirts
while they program, smile a lot and ask silly questions, and bat
their eyes when asking for favors. The swine seem to like the Femmes,
mostly because they appeal to their ego. You can see it when they
talk to the Femme - you can tell how difficult it is for them to
control the urge to beat their chests and make mating cries while
helping the Femme get that nasty PCI video card into the right slot.
Sad thing is, she probably knows how to do it, but she is smart
enough to ask for help so that the Rocket Scientist doesn't feel
threatened. Then there are the Butch Bitches. I am one of those.
The Butch Bitches use rough language, always wear jeans, avoid
make-up, and volunteer to carry heavy things so that the Rocket
Scientist understands that she is not a weakling. While the Femme
Fatale appeals to the Rocket Scientist's protector instinct, the
Butch Bitch tries to be one of the guys. That's how disk drives
get thrown at the Butch Bitch - she projects that attitude that
she can take anything and more. For some reason, the Butch Bitch
approach doesn't work as well as the Femme Fatale approach, I think,
mostly because deep down the Rocket Scientist *knows* that the
Butch Bitch does not have a penis.
So, what to do? I think I will have to go shopping soon. I might
be able to find some skirts I like, maybe one or two pairs of heels,
some doe-eyed make-up effects... It might not be too late to be a
Femme Fatale.
Anonymous
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