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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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3 Become 1
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Here are three stories from different stages in my life too short for
individual "F.U.C.K." files so I have combined them into one file.
STOLEN
It's amazing to me how some memories stick in my mind even after
twenty years. This story takes us back in the mid 70's when my
parents, sister, and I visited a friend of my dad's in Saint Louis.
The people we visited had a nice home though it was a bit close to
some train tracks on the outskirts of the big city. They had a back
yard big enough for a swing set, a garage separate from the house,
three or four bedrooms and a huge basement with bar and additional
bedroom their teenage son used. These friends were the typical
nuclear family (at the time) with two daughters and one son. I
recall playing on the swing set, burning leaves, and playing around
in the house. My dad actually took some home movies with a camera
that actually used film. So, all our home movies of the time were
silent but the quality is surprisingly good.
On one occasion all of us children happened to find ourselves in the
basement. All except the teenage son whom I believe worked at a
nearby restaurant as a bus boy. He had an interesting bedroom down
in the basement--dark, lonely, with a nice hi-fi system and a great
set of headphones. Being the curious one I happened to look around
his room (but not in the drawers). On his dresser or in a jewelry
type box I noticed what looked to be small bullets (.22's maybe).
There were a few different shapes and sizes. Perhaps a dozen. They
were too neat to pass up so I took a couple. I actually gave some of
the bullets to the young girls and dared them to throw the bullets
against the hardwood or tiled floor of the basement. You know, to
see if they would explode. But not before I stood across the room
close to the stairs so I could make a quick exit if required. They
threw the bullets at the floor and nothing happened. And again with
the same result--nothing. Well, I thought, maybe they were duds. So
I took a few before leaving our friends place that day.
I later regretted the whole incident--what if the bullets had
discharged? Why the hell did I take them? I felt so guilty that I
wanted to take them back but there was no way I could return the
bullets--I lived in Florida and no trips to Saint Louis were being
planned by my parents. So, I disposed of the evidence by burial. I
ended up burying the bullets (perhaps four to six of them) in front
of our garage about a foot below the ground behind a tree. It has
been about twenty years now and I still can't believe what I did.
The two girls who threw the bullets against the floor are in there
twenties now. I have no idea if they remembered that day or if they
told their parents. I wonder if the teenage son ever noticed the
missing bullets. I wonder if the people we sold our house to ever
discovered the bullets and questioned what we might have been up to.
However, maybe it is better that I leave the past alone and
concentrate on the here and now.
SKOOL DAZES
Back in college I did a zine called FATHOMS BELOW. I also created
some ads to help promote my zine. On the back of one of the ads
appeared this next story. As for the zine I only produced five
issues. I recently archived them all to Adobe PDF files and will put
them online when I get the 15megs of spaces the five issues require.
College years are a time to "party" for some, while it's the usual
for others. Luckily for me I have a few crazy days to look back on--
the following is one of those days.
One cool day when my roommate and I were a bit adventurous we decided
to do something unique. At the time we were living in a dorm at the
University of Florida and on our way to completing a third year in
Electrical Engineering. I'm not sure how it happened--maybe one of
my stupid suggestions--but we decided to see (feel) how HOT we could
get the kitchen (10 x 12 ft room). We plugged up the air condition
vent, closed all the doors, and turned the burners and oven all the
way on--of course we were smart enough to leave the oven open. When
we started the temperature was somewhere around 72-76F. Our goal was
to reach 100F and see what is like because it never gets that hot in
Florida. It took 45 minutes to reach 99 degrees and it didn't seem
to want to get any hotter. Unfortunately we didn't have an electric
heater. After an hour we decided to turn the appliances off and go
from a cold room to a hot one and back again. I must admit it was a
neat experience but then again people in northern states experience
this every day in the winter. Fortunately we didn't have to pay the
electric bill. As we say at Fathoms Below--you don't fully
appreciate life until you risk it!
THE EIGHT VIRTUES OF THE AVATAR
It was a little more then ten years ago that I took my first European
vacation. Before the vacation a friend acquainted me with the
popular (at the time) Ultima IV on my Commodore 64. So, not having
much to do that summer I managed to spend much of my time playing
Ultima IV. I played Ultima IV, went to Europe for a few weeks,
wondered about Ultima IV then eventually returned to complete the
Ultima IV game. I didn't have a map but did have limited cheats.
Sometimes it was easy to get caught up in the game and lose sight of
the intricacies of what it is trying to teach you.
To complete Ultima IV you must become what is known as an Avatar.
The goal of the Avatar is to seek total understanding of the world
around him/her. The eight virtues of the Avatar are: 1) Honesty,
2) Compassion, 3) Valor, 4) Justice, 5) Sacrifice, 6) Honor,
7) Spirituality, and 8) Humility.
One can only obtain Avatar status when all eight virtues have been
satisfied (i.e. maximized). This is, more or less, accomplished
through your characters interactions, missions, and mediation at the
various shrines. Towards the end of the game your characters are
required to battle a mirror image of themselves. Take away the
medieval facade and this game is played every day by all of us.
Truth, Justice, and the American way right?
One of our most difficult fights is with ourselves--and so it is in
Ultima IV. We strive to overcome evil. Everyday is a new mission.
Some are mundane, others will require great risk. As we complete our
goals (missions) we are rewarded--maybe our self esteem raises or
maybe we are paid a bonus at work. Achieving "Avatar" status in real
life is no easy task yet it is something all of us should strive for.
And if there is no "Lord British" at the end of our journey at least
we can say we did what was right for ourselves and those around us.
It's the only way to be,
Pallbearer
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