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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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love
----
who would have thought, that the world could be so cold.
i was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped
away into the mist and all that was left was a slight
bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to
a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take
i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a
garbage can, "it's too bad the little things never
mattered in the end!" he shouted and then disappeared.
not realizing it, the coin feel to the ground and
landed hard on tails. i looked left and saw my world
below the fingertips. "this way to your grave." said an
old man wearing a top hat and a frown. behind me a
naughty word was spoken, "love! love!" and i turned to
see myself, standing before myself in a robe of black.
the man once again appeared from beyond the waste of
humanity "it doesn't really matter anyway! both roads
lead you to the same destiny!" fearing the man's words i
turned to love and followed my soul beyond myself where
i once stood. this time, life felt real, or was it the
way the cold wind as it beat against my heart. i poured
out onto a street where i plummeted against her. she
stood there in her long black gown with her long dark
hair looking as beautiful as she did the first moment i
ever laid my eyes upon her. "i miss you." she said
with a frown impaled across her skin. i wrapped my arms
around her and took her home, took her to love. sitting
down on her couch, resting her body across it's
comfort, she said "thank you for being such a great
friend." and my heart swooped into nothingness. i wish
that my heart were a tangible thing, so that i may
throw it into a pit a lava and feel it hurt. only then
can i feel the amount of pain i receive from just
thinking about your glory and my absence from it. i
said thank you and excused myself to the bathroom. i
put my hands under the sweet water emerging from the
faucet and then rubbed them across my face. i looked in
the mirror, water dripping from my form. "beyond what
light lives greater men than i? but, in the darkness,
they number in the thousands and do march about in my
head." madness, that is the keyword for this life. the
point at which nothing really seems and all seems at
once. curling up my bleeding fist i march back into the
living room which was empty to the breath. searching
around i found myself in her bedroom where i saw my one
true life long love laid stretched out against her
stomach, resting on the bed. she was half asleep and
could barely mutter "could you rub my shoulders?"
nothing pleased me more than making her happy. nothing
on this planet fills me with more joy than knowing she
is well. i crawled onto the bed and began exercising my
strength into her muscles. my cold hands caressed her
warm body with ever ounce of love i could muster. and
her, just laying there as if she is just getting a good
massage from her best friend while quickly falling
asleep. "mmmm, this is so great, don't stop." she
quietly moaned. "yes, my hands can bring pleasure to
any woman, and my tongue more, and the rest of me even
more, but my heart and love only bring distance and
solitude." i said trying to bring some ounce of
understanding to her. "mmmm.. ok..." she replied, not
hearing a word i spoke. once she stopped responding to
my hails i rubbed up and down her back once more and
then a rabbit crawl out from behind the pillows "she is
just a woman!" she shouted. "she has but flesh and
soul! two things you can find upon the skeleton of any
one of us!" "yes," i replied "but the world just seems
so empty without this one, every woman i set eyes on
fails to amount up to a grain of salt next to this one
true love of mine." i calmly replied. "you are such a
fool!" cried a clown standing over my shoulder. "LOOK
AT HER! do you think she can actually develop one ounce
of feeling towards you that you have towards her? NO!"
and my heart sobbed. meanwhile the lizard gardener was
whispering into her ear "...love you. so the time has
come to decide the fate of humanity. feel his pain
which is love, and feel your pain which is life. his
pain and yours, when combined, could bring you so much
happiness. feel the way he makes you happy now. you
could feel like this for the rest of your life, the
time he would spend with you, if you would only accept
him." then the whispering stopped and in a flash as she
awoke and turned to me in a fright, "did you here
something?" she panicked. "something about the way
your tears fall to the earth?" and understanding became
her. she looked at me with sad eyes and a tear rolled
off her cheek. "i understand, but you have to realize i
am forever alone. it doesn't matter if you are sincere
or the best thing for me. all that matters is that i
cannot get hurt any more. i cannot open myself up to
someone, only to have them fill me with pain and
suffering." she said with sad lips. "i am not like
that." i responded as i stood up, "i am not like that,
and you will never know what you will miss because you
never want to find out the pleasure i could bring you.
as for me, i will always know what i am missing. never
again will i know happiness as that which i feel from
just glancing upon your face, or thinking about your
beauty. from now until the day i die i shall carry
around with me a sad face, weighted heart and a
tortured soul." i dropped a grey rose on to the bed and
left the house never to return.
years later, in a city far distant from the previous, i
was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped
away into the mist and all that was left was a slight
bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to
a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take
i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a
garbage can, "i told you, only the foolish can be swept
up by love, it leads nowhere but to a painful death
filled with sorrow." i could only think about how right
he was as i stared so coldly down the alley to my left.
"it is time." said the old man wearing a top hat and a
smile. so i began my walk down the path of death when i
suddenly felt a gentle tapping on my shoulder. quickly
turning around i saw myself standing before myself
again. "she is waiting." i said to myself. with not a
moments thought i began running as fast as possible to
my right. i feel out onto a street, looking up i saw a
woman stare down at me and say "are you alright?"
standing up i brushed myself off and replied with a
"yes." then our eyes met and she stared hard into my
bones. "i have missed you." she said with a sadness
that only i could understand. she kissed me with all
the deep passion of love and the world feel to dust
around us. we stood alone in the universe, just holding
each other. my life for yours k, forever until the day
i die.
who would have thought, that the world could be so warm.
rage-303
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