> 
> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> =   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> 
>                          mindfuck me, baby
>                          -----------------
> 
> good lord i need a woman. i haven't really *cared* for someone in more than
> a year. i feel like a rock with no emotions and it sucks to be hard. it's
> hard to be hard.
> 
> i have a few friends; mostly the same gender as me: male. mostly stupid guys.
> a few smart ones, and one real smart one, but he's a christian and he annoys
> me sometimes with his holiness. i like to talk to him, but not for long.
> 
> this isn't angst so don't stop reading.
> 
> i'm not angry or disturbed. i accept my situation because i created it. i
> don't make an effort to meet people. my hair is ragged and i wear the same
> jeans two days in a row. i like to sit in front of my computer with a joint
> and stay there. i guess i'm not noticeably unattractive - i just don't care.
> 
> at the same time i have this overnight event in like a month where i'm
> supposed to bring a date. yeah, right. i'll probably sit in the back of the
> chartered bus with a case of lone star and have a miserable, albeit twisted,
> time. but maybe not. maybe i'll run into an attractive, impulsive, healthy,
> atheist/agnostic, stoner, freedom-of-thought type libertarian woman on the
> bus tomorrow. hopefully she won't be a computer chick and then maybe i
> perform some massive escapism on my lust for technology.
> 
> "run away!!!!!!!!!!!"
> 
> i wanna cabin. in montana. with no electricity, but with running water. i
> want to live comfortably, but un-connected. de-net myself for a few decades.
> just raise homing pigeons and hunt and fish for my own food. if the girl i
> meet tomorrow wants to come, she can. ill visit home every few months, to
> check up on the folks, friends and fast food. refill prescriptions and what
> not. lots of prescriptions.
> 
> wouldn't it be nice to not check your email for seven days? just set up a
> vacation so you can give autoresponses to everyone like:
> 
> Hi! I'm taking an email vacation - if it's important, call me voice, if not,
> you'll hear from me next week. thanks!
> 
> ..*sigh*
> 
> i should do that, and you should too. take a break. use your computer for
> papers and homework, but detach yourself from any online communities you
> affiliate with. don't answer email. don't read news (DON'T READ NEWS?!!?!
> Noooooooooooooooooooo!!) for a week. go to class and come home and do your
> homework or read or explore the area where you live. try it: just one week.
> 
> i will, i swear to god. i will. just one week - then i'll be back. and then
> i'll take another break every three months or so. maybe that's when i could
> do my wash.
> 
> anyways my point is this: i need some good conversation. i would rather have
> someone to talk to than to have sex with at this point. if conversations
> were fruits and veggies, i'd have scurvy by now. i'm a lonely sailor, sailing
> the ship of my fate off the edge of the earth. i have no idea what i'll see
> when i get there. either i discover a new world on this globe or sail off the
> flat sea into space.
> 
> "we breath deep in a steam dream
> and plunge below the waterline
> down, down, down, down, down,
> between beams to the blue moon
> among the seaweed and the slime
> down, down, down, down, down, down."
> 
> it's amazing how music can affect mood.
> 
> changing sucks.
> 
> **porno*funk**
> 
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