=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Things to Ponder
----------------
Just a few humorous things to ponder over. Kinda makes you
wonder who came up with some of this and why we continue
with our bizarre ways. Enjoy.
* Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead
of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
prohibited there?
* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there
locks on the doors?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Lisp, if you suffer, you can't say it.
* Dyslexic, if you suffer, you can't spell it.
* Why is "monosylabic", by definition, not?
* How many people with a speech impedement can say "impedement"?
* Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
* If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's
license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in
the mornings?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON
stick to the pan?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's
called a shipment, but when you transport something by
ship, it's called cargo?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used
on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the
same substance?
* Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
* Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
* Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
* Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
* Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
* Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result
is the same?
* Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
* Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all
stuck together?
* Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
* Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
* How can someone "draw a blank"?
* Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
* Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* What is another word for "thesaurus"?
* When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
* Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
* Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
* Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we
are already there?
* Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
* Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
* Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
* Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called
a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
* Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
* Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see
it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.
* How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
* Why is FOOTball played by hand?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
* If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that
says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear",
how can that be possible?
* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped
it from a height, what would happen?
* If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what
happens when you turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the
protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
* What's another word for thesaurus?
* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
* If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
This file brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=