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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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How The Hell Do You Stand It At All?
------------------------------------
The following was crossposted over USENET to several different
newsgroups, and I happened to run into it on rec.sport.pro-wrestling. It
was posted by a guy named Edgar from Britain who had a job in the United
States for a few months, and he comments on our television programming. I
thought it was interesting to see the views of somebody completely
impartial, and he supports a lot of what I've touched on in previous
articles I've written for other e'zines. The commentary isn't exactly
revolutionary (these things Edgar brings up have been said hundreds of times
before) but I find it particularly important because it's from an outsider.
Note that I attempted to get in contact with Edgar via email. I wanted
to get more information so I could add to this piece; what is different
about British television? Could you compare and contrast? Unfortunately,
after a few weeks I haven't received a response, so I'm releasing this as
is.
Also note that I edited this slightly as far as simple grammar goes
(commas, semi-colons, etc) but the remainder is as I found it. Another
thing to keep in mind is that, because Edgar is from Britain, he uses
different spelling (most obvious is "programmes" instead of "programs" or
the usage of S instead of Z). Anyway, enough of the introduction. Here.
*******
From edc@comtex.co.uk Thu May 29 23:50:18 1997
Newsgroups: alt.politics.equality,rec.arts.tv,rec.sport.pro-wrestling,
rec.arts.tv.uk.misc,uk.media.tv.misc,rec.arts.tv.soaps.misc,
alt.books.george-orwell,soc.culture.british,
alt.renewing.american.civilization,alt.nuke.europe,
art.fan.art-bell
Subject: American Television is Dreadfully Stupid. How the Hell Can You Sit
Through Endless Insulting Commercials?
From: Edgar Carlsbad
Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 22:50:18 -0500
I am constantly shocked at how stupid and mindless American TV is. I have
just returned from spending three months working there and I am
flabbergasted at how you Americans can stand such low class rubbish. It is
a terrible reflection of your society: crass commercialisation and poor
quality programming. How the hell do you stand it at all?
The sitcoms fall between retarded sexualisation or dealing with America's
racial problems by parading stereotypes. Most tragic of all, American TV
serves as a substitute for real friends or a proper family life.
The sexualisation of children on American TV is shocking. Speaks volumes
about the miserable existance American children are raised in these days.
The latchkey generations abandoned by their selfish mothers who "did the
whole kid thing, but now want to find myself and my career" types who give
an endless parade of shrinks a lucrative lifestyle.
The never-ending violence is deeply disturbing. Programmes with titles like
"Scary Cop Shoot-Outs" and other home videos of planes falling from the sky
passed-off as science shows just so the morbid individuals can justify
their sick fascination with violent death and suffering.
Your so called news programmes are nothing more than propaganda designed to
keep the corporate state in power and your pockets as empty as your lives.
Lots of information about how crappy life is in the rest of the world
followed by how great things are here in the good 'ol US of A. Yipee!
No wonder only 5% of Americans have passports; your government fears that
you may find out that the quality of life in the US is shit next to Europe,
Canada, Down Under, and so on.
Sports programmes are just as retarded as the stupid meaningless sports
programming you "enjoy" over there. I cannot understand it at all. I must
have heard the word "EXTREME" about a million times to let me know how
exciting American sports are. They are childish and cater to people of low
IQ. American TV producers have a very low opinion of their viewers.
Endless shows about UFOs and mostly 'End of The World' programmes which
speaks to the heart in a very roundabout way that America is finished as a
society.
But even when I found something interesting, the enjoyment was ruined by the
non-stop commercials that you get before the show begins, then right after
the intro and then six (yes 6!) more times before a half hour show is done.
A half-hour show in America is really about 16 to 18 minutes long - the rest
is all ads!
I don't know how you Americans can sit through such idiotic excrement, but
after meeting you first hand and seeing how most of you are quite
brainwashed, I see the real purpose of this TV media in your country.
George Orwell's 1984 is about present day America as far as I am concerned.
You are all so controlled you may as well be a nation of veal calves.
You have my prayers.
Edgar
*******
I couldn't agree more, Edgar.
What's especially sad, though, is that nobody really cares. Edgar got
a tremendous amount of flames from people who read this.
Our nation is content to let the powers that be do the thinking for
them. No, this is not the generic "fuck the government!" rant. This isn't
about the government at all, actually. It's about *you* - you people who
get some sort of twisted satisfaction watching Bob Saget show you home
videos of fat people every Sunday night. You people who'd rather watch
Jenny McCarthy shake her tits on a dating show full of halfwit fratboys and
meat-drunk gutterwhores than READ A FUCKING BOOK.
Don't get me wrong. Television itself isn't bad. Infact, it's the
most efficient form of communication that we, as a species, have at our
disposal. This was most evident during the Gulf "War." If a member of my
family or a friend was involved in that, I'd most certainly be glued to the
idiot box to make sure everything was going well. I would *not* be
switching to yet another made-for-TV movie starring a pregnant Jaclyn Smith
in mid-divorce and a coma during the CNN news breaks.
Some people say that television is used to control the masses.
Although this is an immature, paranoid, and very radical point of view, it
isn't so far from the truth. Television isn't used to *control* the masses,
but it sure is suggestive, isn't it?
We have become braindead. I deal with people every day at work and I
witness it firsthand. I literally have to teach people, step by step, how
to activate a gas pump because they're so used to being spoonfed information
by television, parents, and our school system that they've lost the ability
to do anything by themselves. "Two legs good, four legs bad." The whole
bit. It's frightening. You may have went to med school for 12 years to
earn your doctorate in neurology but you can't even fucking pump gas into
your Lexus.
Am I saying that television should take full blame? No. Am I saying
Edgar and his jolly good pals in England have no trouble activating a gas
pump? No. If you don't know what I'm saying by now, just stop reading and
go back to Baywatch. Do you have any idea how much you've missed by reading
my tight-assed banter? Pamela Anderson is half-naked and wet RIGHT NOW.
So hit your escape key. It's the one on the far top-left of your
keyboard labelled "Esc." What you do is place your finger on top of it and
push it down. It will make this disappear.
If you're reading this in DOS Edit, the only way to get out of this is
by pressing two keys at once. I will not bother teaching you how to do that
because it will give you a stroke. Just hit the power button.
- Styx
styx@dto.net
dropdead@mindspring.com
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