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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Technology and Adults
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I've been flying around the country for the last three weeks straight
during this last round of speeches. Life has become a blur of airports
and shuttle rides, but hey, I'm single, so who cares?
Flying on a frequent basis causes one to lose their sense of humor very
quickly. Especially if you fly Southwest, Continental or Delta.
Flying out of LAX late last September, at the beginning of my latest
trip, I flew Southwest into Pheonix, transferred to a flight supposedly
going to St. Louis. The plane was about 90 minutes late due to missed
connection flights elsewhere in the country. Once boarded, we had to
divert to Houston to graciously pick up stranded passengers. Then to
St.Louis, with more delays, and then off to Cleveland, my final
destination for that particular leg. I should have arrived at 3:40 PM,
and managed to arrive at 11:45 at night.
Returning to LAX for a few days, a one stop connection flight out of St.
Louis turned into a five state romp, as we landed in St. Louis, where we
became 37th! in line for take-off, and then had to land in Kansas City
because they forgot to load the food on the plane. (Food turned out to
be peanuts and soft drinks!) Now to Houston, then to Pheonix, then
finally home to LAX, and only five hours late! Needless to say, my ride
had long since bailed, and I had to get home in the middle of the night
on my own...no easy task in Los Angeles!
It turned out I had to return to the East Coast very quickly. I boarded my
Continental flight, vowing to never fly Southwest again, and everything
was uneventful upon landing in Houston for my transfer to Pittsburgh.
Yet, on that second leg of the flight, about ten miles out from our
landing, there was a huge cracking sound. The pilot informed us we were
quickly losing hydraulic pressure, and in an attempt to maintain maximum
lift, were ditching fuel all over the nice citizens of Pittsburgh.
Landing with excesssive lateral g-forces is never a good idea. The wheels
touched down, and the forces were trying to throw the back end of the
plane to the left and around us. We jarred to the left, bounced up, and
once again tried a left spin. All was fine after all was said and done
and we were on the ground. A runway full of fire trucks waiting to meet
your plane is not a pretty sight.
Business done four days later and off to Marshall Space Flight Center in
Alabama. A huge intercontinental storm was in full force, and I learned I
was going right into the heart of it on a fucking prop plane! I looked at
the attendant, and asked if she was sure the rubber bands were wound
tight enough for this flight.
It wasn't too bad, except upon landing...no luggage! "I'm sorry sir. I
don't know how it happened, but our computers show that your luggage
arrived several hours ago in Newark, and have been transferred to a
flight headed for Amsterdam. Fill out this form and here's a
complimentary shaving kit."
I arrive at the hotel with my shaving kit, and find my "credit-card-
guaranteed-and-paid-for-room-with-late-arrival" was not available.
"Give...me...a...fucking...room...now!" I said. Once inside my room,
I threw my kit down, I headed out for dinner at the only place available
in Madison, Alabama...WAFFLE HOUSE! (They don't know what a Denny's is,
but the banner saying "America's Place to Eat, Americas Place to Work"
didn't convince me much.
All is fine, I get to the airport for a two hundred mile flight to
Cincinatti, where I transfer non-stop to LAX. Twelve hours later I board
the plane. I asked why they were so late, they said, "We lost the plane
we were going to use somewhere, can't find it, and had to fly one in from
Pheonix to get you guys out of here." How the HELL do you lose a 747?!
I arrived home, crashed, and woke up to find my luggage on my doorstep. I
opened it up and grabbed the Pepsi that had flown about twenty-thousand
miles in the last week and kicked back to enjoy it.
Airlines cannot deliver what they promise. I have not had a single flight
arrive on time in the last year (50+ round trip flights) yet. They lose
planes, send luggage to the wrong countries, and literally feed you
peanuts during transcontinental flights. They cannot get their other
planes in on time, causing other planes long delays and unplanned stops
to pick up stranded passengers abandoned by other flights.
I think technology has become an unmanageable drawback to the airlines.
Back in the days of stickers being used on luggage, instead of bar codes,
your luggage may have arrived elsewhere than you, but at least not across
the world from you.
Lost hotels reservations, paid for reservations, didn't become lost.
Employees were much more able to answer your questions when they didn't
have to rely on computers for their answers. The computer is never
supposed to lie, but it is obvious they do, as the computer only does
what is instructed of it by humans, and humans, in general, are complete
morons who can barely turn them on, much less use them correctly.
se7en
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