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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Born of Two Against
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The old man and woman are at each other throats again.
Screaming, yelling, bitching, and spewing god awful hate at each
other. I'm no psychologist, scientist, or doctor but I know it
can't be good. Mix in the right words and a good loud argument
can break down even the emotionally strongest of people.
I look in the mirror while their mouths continue to move and
wonder how such a conflict could have created this person I see
before me. I've come to realize compatibility doesn't matter and
that the external conflicts we see and hear are passed on to us
as internal conflicts in the genes and through osmosis because of
our everyday living arrangements. In some ways it is like a
jigsaw puzzle (sort of like DNA); let me try to explain.
It took two people to create you and I. Most of the time the two
people will be compatible and their genes will form all the
pieces of the human puzzle. If so that person will be able to
live many years before their puzzle breaks apart. Sometimes a
few pieces of the puzzle end up missing. Maybe they destroy each
other or maybe neither person possess the required piece(s). The
results produce retarded, blind, deaf, deformed or an otherwise
abnormal person. For me two incompatible puzzles managed to form
the required human puzzle. A puzzle that constantly fights
against itself. So, unlike a perfect fit that slowly deteriorate
over many years I have to deal with constant conflict within my
body. This results in confusion that is real and judgment that
is clouded. There is no escape because the conflict is internal.
Battles can be won but the war will rage on.
Sometimes, while the conflicts continue, my thoughts become clear
enough to wonder about how much better it is to have all the
pieces of the puzzle still together. Hey, I'm still alive, I can
hear, I can see (with glasses), I'm somewhat smarter than
average, and I almost look normal. So, even with the internal
struggling, I seem to be pretty well off. I imagine a lot of
people have mismatched puzzle pieces-why else would there be so
many people doing stupid shit all the time. I often speculate
how others cope with their difficulties. I've come to the
conclusion that like me they take each day as given to them. As
a whole we go day to day struggling along hoping for the best.
The liquor, check cashing, and gun stores cater to our kind.
Without some form of escape most of our struggling days would
have ended long ago.
If you let them, they will destroy you.
Pallbearer
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