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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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To Kristine with love
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I guess I gotta give some background.
I met this girl a while ago. I was a really timid guy then -- arguably
still am -- and rather young. Probably younger than you'd think, because
this was a fair amount of time ago. I suppose it would do enough justice
to say that she and I met at a party, even though that's not wholly true.
"You thought they were all kiddin' you...
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out."
She was really attractive. She was from Colorado and she was just rebel
enough to appeal to me at the time. She was just the same age as me, or
maybe a little older. The details of the event don't really matter, but
suffice it to say that the night was important enough for me to remember
it through the years, and it wasn't because of the sexual act or a shade
of it.
"But now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud."
A chance conversation today revealed something that I can't really get out
of my head -- it's like nothing I've ever felt before. I'd say I was
crushed but that wasn't really it. I'm somewhere between shocked, upset,
angry, mellow, and depressed. Whatever it is I feel, it is genuine.
This cute girl must have gotten herself into some trouble the last few
years. She's in rehab and has been for a few months now. I could have
almost smelled that there was something wrong with her when we were.
together way-back-when. It wasn't that she seemed like she'd had a
horrible event in her family, like a molestation, and it certainly wasn't
the seed of sexual dysfunction that I saw. It was that there was
something even more shocking in her. A disparity in her psyche and a
corruption of her family that I wouldn't be able to understand.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL?
How does it feel?
To be without a home?
Like a complete unknown?
Like a rollin' stone?"
Orestes
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