=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Art of Begging ------------------ Begging is a method by which one can procure the funds necessary to sustain one's self virtually indefinitely, at almost no personal cost, except humiliation. By utilizing proper begging technique, very good yield can be obtained. The main discourse which will be covered in this tutorial, and by far the most important in the actual begging procedure, will be the proper mental manipulation of the Funder (he who funds the Beggar) by the truly skilled Student of Procurement Arts, or the Beggar. These skills have long proven themselves invaluable when exercised in the correct locale, at the proper time interval. Part 1: (in)Famous Beggars The art of begging is not a new one, but one which has been practiced for many a year, by many a once poor, (or even once rich) and currently extremely prosperous soul. Many a Beggar have found within begging the means to obtain houses otherwise unavailable to their childhood friends who decided to choose the unfortunately straight path in life, and actually work for their income. These suckers now live in the trash neighborhoods, while the Beggars are able to afford mansions in the plush, inner-city playgrounds of the rich. Case Study #1: Locale: San Fransisco, California Beggar Type: Beat Box Dancer Beggar Name: Unknown Beggar's Racial Background: Black Information: This Beggar dances in San Fransisco on the harbor, on a milk box. He has a boom box playing rap tunes, and whenever someone drops money within the overturned box at his feet, he does a little "robotic" dance to the rap tune, complete with servo and engine noises emitted from his mouth. This probably mainly works because of his black racial background--he is able to keep to the beat of the tune, and not mess up his dance. He dresses slightly shabbily when he works, but it is known that he owns a mansion in wine country, as well as a yacht in the harbor. This man is a true example of proper begging skills. Case Study #2: Locale: Denver, Colorado Beggar Type: Story Teller Beggar Name: Unknown Beggar's Racial Background: Apparently White Information: While traversing the 16th Street Mall in Denver, we came across several Beggars of all types, yet none seemed to know proper begging skills, and would simply request money of our party. Eventually, we were approached by a man who did, in fact, know his skills, and was very proficient at the practicing thereof. Instead of requesting monetary funds immediately of our group, he began with a story of his demise, beginning with a horrible drug addiction, highlights in clinics, and the military, and ending when his social security was no longer redeemable, and he was finally forced to live out his days on the streets. He claimed to have finally reformed, and kicked the drug habit, and just wanted a few dollars to buy a meal. How could anyone refuse someone like this after he took the time to tell a story like that? (Took over 4 minutes!) Excellent technique. Case Study #3: Locale: Washington, D.C. Beggar Type: Pamphlet Seller Beggar Name: Unknown Beggar's Racial Background: Black Information: Free pamphlets are available throughout the D.C. area for tourists, such that they can know which tourist sites to visit while they're in the area. This Beggar took advantage of the situation, and turned it around such that these "free" pamphlets would give him much income. By obtaining large stacks of these free pamphlets from their distribution centers, and then offering them for sale on the street, he was able to create his own personal business opportunity. He approached our group wearing a brightly colored outfit, and offered us pamphlets for $5 each. Seeing that these were the same pamphlets I could obtain from my hotel, I declined his offer, but realized that most tourists would not, as they have not the intellect to do so. Doing some quick calculations, I determined that in a good location, during the day, with only 100 tourists passing per hour, and 75 of these purchasing the pamphlets, our Beggar could make $375 per hour! In a better location, such as in between some of the Smithsonian buildings, our Beggar may be able to encounter as many as 400-500 tourists per hour, perhaps with a bit lower tourist:purchase ratio, and make as much as $1250 per hour! This technique is obviously enhanced even more greatly when our Beggar reinvests his funds and creates an appearance for himself as if he works for the city, such that he will gain the trust of the Funders. This technique is, perhaps, the best available for quick profiteering through semi-legal, and/or begging means. By working in a prime spot for only two-three hours a day, this Beggar could procure more funds in one day than a large percentage of the population makes in one MONTH! Case Study #4: Locale: Denver, Colorado Beggar Type: Gimme A Quarter Beggar Name: David Beggar's Racial Background: Apparently White Information: David has enough money provided by his parents to afford medial needs, and definitely lives well above sustenance level. However, when pocket cash becomes low in supply, David has found a way to purchase what he needs without breaking into his bank funds. By asking for a quarter--no more, no less, from those he passes in the hall of George Washington High School, he is able to appeal to the fact that most don't consider amounts less than one dollar to be of great value. David has been able to make up to five dollars in less than ten minutes, a very nice yield for a small-time, low-level Beggar. David is also a good example of how a Beggar must present the correct atmosphere to his Funder for good usage of his begging skills. Recently, while begging, David accidentally opened his hand, which happened to be full of funds he had procured, while soliciting a possible Funder. This was his major mistake, as, upon seeing that David already had sufficient funds in hand, the Funder had a change of heart, and gave David instead, an offer to kiss her ass. Small time begging is great for those moments in which the Beggar has plenty of funds in the bank, but isn't in the mood to visit the ATM machine. Part 2: Begging Methodology Now that we have reviewed some techniques of frequent, and skilled Beggars, we will break these down and form a general plan from which all begging solicitation can take place. This plan will enable the prospective user to form his own mold, specific to his particular situation and begging needs. As seen in Case Study #1 and Case Study #3, the Dancer and the Seller, respectively, Funders who have large pockets want to get something in return on occasion. The Dancer gave his Funders a bit of entertainment value, namely the music from his box, and his robot dance, which can be seen to be of slight interest to those with nothing better to do with their time. The Seller, on the other hand, offered his funders a tangible good, the pamphlet which he attempted to pawn off upon them. This allowed the Funders a feeling that they had actually procured something of value for their money, and were not simply putting it into an empty expenditure. This helps when begging, because many Funders wish to know where their Funds are headed. We can break down these skills even further, by stating that most basic skills that a potential Beggar may posses can be utilized for purposes of fund procurement. I'm sure that most who will read this have, at some time, seen a low-level Beggar utilizing these techniques, performing in the street with a guitar, or with one's voice. This is very effective, but has inherent errors in most basic techniques. Mainly, this is derived from the fact that the said Beggars usually leave their gained funds out in the open, for any potential Funders to take a glance at. This will inherently endanger the Beggar if too many funds are left to view, or if not enough are seen. Too many, and the Funder will assume that enough has been given to the Beggar already to placate his needs. Not enough, and the Funder will tell himself that if indeed no one else has donated to the said Beggar, why should he? Thus, when offering service as the begging technique, a certain amount of funds, usually specific to the target Funders, and/or the locale, should be displayed in order to prompt further fund generation. In addition, services provided should be simple, and extremely easy for the Beggar to reproduce, such that not too much work will have to be done in order to prompt the Funder into generosity. Case Study #2, the Story Teller, shows that one of the most effective forms of begging come from appealing to the basic human need to feel compassion. By telling his life's story, a disaster in the making, he is able to perfectly fit into this niche, and create an atmosphere in which the Funder can all but give the beggar his entire wallet, else he will feel bad about not having helped the Beggar for the rest of the day. This technique is excellent in that a given story is not hard to generate, and within a few nights, it can be memorized such that it will sound completely natural, and can be very effectively told in order to correctly fool the Funder into granting the very funds which the Beggar hopes to receive. To further enhance this method, the Beggar may utilize Dirt, Grime, and Oil in order to soil his clothes and self, presenting a great atmosphere of need about him, causing the Funder to feel that without funds, the Beggar will fail to survive. Very few possible Funders want to feel as though they have allowed someone to die because of their lack of generosity. Case Study #4 is by far the most unskilled form shown within the Case Studies. However, it shows that by using small monetary values in one's technique, one can appeal to Funders who would previously not have been so generous to the Beggar. It is very important, however, that one not mix up the techniques presented in Study #4, and those presented in Studies #1 and #3. The prime difference in these solutions is that under Cases #1 and #3, a service is offered, and there is a necessity for showing that some service has already been granted (however, not too much), by allowing the Funder to see a certain amount of income. Under Case Study #4, if income is shown to the Funder, the Funder will surely feel that he need not continue the income flow of the Beggar, thus eliminating himself from the Funder/Beggar chain. By not showing any funds, or furthermore, by stating that absolutely no funds exist, and that he has been very unlucky, the Beggar using Case Study #4 to his benefit can convince the Funder that he is absolutely necessary to the short-term livelihood of the Beggar. This, of course, presents an opening, as the Funder is only granting a very small amount of money to the Beggar, which gives him the feeling that he is helping someone, without having to manipulate him much, as well as giving him the feeling that he is the only one who can help the Beggar, making him even more susceptible to giving funds to the Beggar. Certain methods of different Case Studies can be intermixed within others, but sometimes this should not be done in order to correctly manipulate the Funder for maximum Funding. For instance, Case Study #4 can very easily be intermixed with Case Study #2, in that the wearing of soiled garments can aid in the begging process of both. However, Case Study #4 and Case Study #3 should not be intermingled, in that no funds should be shown to the Funder when using Case Study #4. Case Studies #2 and #3, also, should not be used as one. This mainly relates to the clothing used, as in Case Study #2, grungy clothes help the cause, yet in Case Study #3, in order to gain the trust of possible Funders, clean, city-worker-type clothes will be much more acceptable. By using one's common sense, it is determinable which methods should be used under a given situation. Conclusions: By using one's begging skills, great deals of income can be generated, if needed; or, if needed, only small amounts can be gained. Whatever one's needs, whatever one's situation, begging can be used. I'd like to thank all the Beggars who I was able to analyze in order to aid in the breakdown of begging technique, with a special thanks to David, who's begging gave me inspiration to write this guide. * MoRP/HEuS * iN_EFFECT =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... = = Internet : jericho@netcom.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Celestial Woodlands 214.252.6455 = = Ionic Destruction 215.722.0570 Hacker's Haven 303.343.4053 = = E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 = = Dungeon Sys. 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