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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Loki's BBS Guide 1.3
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Written/Typed by Loki. Inspired by Mel North's BBS Etiquette,
whoever the fuck he is.
Sysops have my permission to post this on their boards
as long as they follow these rules:
As long as they leave the integrity intact, they may
substitute fartknocker for shit (the noun), heck
for fuck, buttwipe for asshole, farting for fucking,
galldarnit for goddamnit, etc.
These are some general rules that, were they followed, would for
the most part make bbsing life much easier. I've developed
these from general observations, experience, and from friends'
personal experiences. I've also made a few points in here on
the bbsing community as well, or at least those members who are
assholes. If I offend anybody, I can be reached at the Immortal
Hate BBS in Lubbock or a few sellect boards in Houston, Montreal,
and Berlin. I welcome replies and if they are intelligent or at
least make a good point or argument for or against what I have
said then they will be considered for BBS Guide 1.942.
This seems quite offensive but I'm writing it for a college/high
school crowd. I'm dead serious about most of it. It's meant to
be humorous but also is a critique of BBS society. You may even
see yourself in there. Some of it may seem to be a contradiction
but read it all first and then think about it.
(Maybe Boards could start asking for my seal of approval )
Hang-Ups/Dropped Carrier
------------------------
If somebody drops carrier on a board, what's the big deal? Some
Sysops have said they will delete users who do it. Granted,
it does appear rude, but it could be accidental. On BBS's where
the board posts your name if you drop carrier, I like to drop
carrier just to have it post my name and let people know I'm still
alive. Perhaps it is rude, but this is the 90's. If your board/
computer crashes because somebody drops carrier then perhaps it's
time you get a clue and change your software or computer. Back in
the 80's with the Commie 64's, TI's, and Apples that may have been
a genuine problem, but most software can take care of itself now.
Posting
-------
Don't post stupid. If I see some little shit saying "please reply to
me or leave me e-mail", well he's gonna be crying after he reads
what I send him.
Correlation : Post intelligent. Try to use decent grammar and spelling.
Correlation : Don't reply to something that's over 2 weeks old unless
it's really important or you've been gone.
Correlation : Don't use "ph" in place of the "f" unless you know where
the "ph" came from.
Don't post on a public domain BBS looking for the newest "warez". You
are making it obvious to the world what your true intentions are,
the SysOp may do something about it, and it makes you look like a
leech. Plus it may add your name to a list somewhere.
Don't have the same message bases that everybody else has. Every board
does not need a sports base, a car base, plus 20 other bases.
There are BBS's that are dedicated to nothing but Sports, etc.
Bases necessary to a BBS:
SysOp/System Announcements
General Messages
Bases that make a nice addition
New Users to the BBS
Debate
BBS Adds
Bases dealing with popular online games that are present
and are played actively on the board.
Anonymous
After that, be creative, see how your board runs, poll the users
and then add bases, or add bases that fit into your central theme
if you have one. If you have the same bases everybody else has,
then the same shit gets posted by the same users.
There are really only two types of boards that should have a no-swearing
policy:
Religion-oriented
Family boards
If people are offended by other people's use of words, then don't
call. Somebody telling somebody else what they can't say in the
form of language content is censorship. The only limit is when
people are targeting somebody specifically and abusing their
privilege, and they are that indeed, of using the BBS. SysOp's
should be clear up front and have a disclaimer saying there are
children or women(pretty rare on that one) present or that they
are religious oriented. There are plenty of boards without bans
on speech out there.
If a board goes high speed (above 2400) then chances are they are
going to be dealing in only files or smaller message bases. Most
good message/text boards are at 2400 because that's all that's
needed. If a board has a lot of files and LD (Long Distance)
callers then it is worth the extra bucks. If not, then 2400 is
fine and dandy as most people I know can't type that fast anyway.
There are still many fine message boards at high speed, but it's
not necessary to have high speed for a good bbs.
Correlation : One good hs board with messages is of course, the hq for
this series of text files.
Correlation : The faster the modem, the more files transferred, the
less messages posted.
ANSI : It sucks when abused. If there is a lot of ANSI present, make
a base for it. Just because somebody thinks they're cool because
they mastered The Draw 4.x doesn't mean regular users need shit
scrolling all over their screen and fucking with their color. All
it does in regular bases is slow people down. It gets old. If done
properly it can be impressive, but I don't want flashing red all
over my screen at 3 in the morning.
Ragwars/Arguments : Get a life. Just because somebody disagrees with
you doesn't mean you have to get all pissed off and say you have
a blackbelt or a gun and know where somebody lives and are gonna
kick their ass/kill them. Grow the fuck up. Just because you were
wrong or think you have a better system doesn't mean you have to
get all riled up over something. I get tired of logging on to a
system and see people slamming each other back and forth over
something trivial like which game was better or who is a better
player or hacker or who is tougher. It shows your immaturity when
you say your gonna have to kick someone's ass. When it gets into
name calling, then it's obvious your really wrong or very insecure
and your dispute is lost. Just because you have a handle and a phone
line between you and them doesn't mean you have to question their
sexuality or say you have a bigger one or get laid more or whatever.
I see this a lot in high school kids who for some reason still think
they're in jr high or they have to have their egos stroked and think
they are superior to others.
Correlation : The wonderful thing about BBS's is that everybody is
equal and nobody needs to prove themselves. All that's
asked is decent posting and a few ul's now and then.
If your running a 486dx-66 with a CD-ROM, a USR 16.8 Dual,
with 12 megs of RAM and a GIG hard drive, so what?
Somebody with an IBM 8088 and a 2400 and a 20 meg hard
drive can be just as intelligent and contribute just as
much to the bbsing community as you.
SysOp/User Relations
--------------------
Don't chat unless it's really important, but if you do just wanna shoot
the bull, ask if he's busy. If he is don't persist. Don't ask
stupid questions about age, or the system, etc. If you show intell-
igence, then it's alright. I can recall some funny times sitting
at the keyboard chatting with a user and playing around with their
minds and souls.
Correlation : Don't ask the SysOp stupid questions. Post them in a
public place so everyone can ridicule you.
Correlation : There are newbies who don't know that much about bbsing.
In that case, dl a BBS guide such as this and also dl a
good acronym's list such as one of the 10 meg Jargon files
off the internet (which is a whole `nother text file).
btw: dl = download, BBS = Bulletin Board System,
btw = by the way, SysOp = System Operator.
Also, it helps a great deal to download a system help file.
Correlation : SysOps are there to keep the system going, and partially
to help users on the board. They do have jobs and lives
outside of bbsing which means they can't be there to hold
your hand every step of the way.
Correlation : If your gonna criticize a board, be creative, don't say
"they suck". Use examples. Granted not all boards run
TAG BBS or Renegade BBS, but cut other boards some slack.
If you don't like a board, don't call. The world is not
gonna stop just because you tell some SysOp his board
sucks the Big One and he doesn't have to change it to
suit your needs. His BBS and life go on without you.
If you have a problem with a board, let the SysOp know
in private and be reasonable in your explanation. It
doesn't need to be brought into the public.
If a board that has a loyal user base goes subscription, SysOp's
shouldn't require their faithful, long-time users to subscribe
because these people along with the SysOp made the board what it
is. If they do require them to pay, at least make it really low,
more symbolic than anything and pass the expense along to new users.
If you want to piss a SysOp off real fast, log on as new, go straight
to the file section or BBS list. While your at it, go to the message
base and cancel out all bases in your new scan. Unless the BBS is
set up specifically for files or is really lame, spend a few minutes
in the message section at least. Get a feel for the board.
SysOp's/CoSys's, don't abuse your privileges and change over to somebody
and then make them look bad and don't give out their info publicly.
If somebody's a leech, don't post a log of what they dled publicly.
If they're a leech, chances are they won't see it anyway. It's better
to reprimand in private or you'll get ragwars going (see above).
A leech is someone who dl's and doesn't ul. If somebody stays within
established ratios then they are not a leech. (See ratios in the
Files section below).
Handles
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All BBS's should allow handles except : Boards where the theme encourages
real names, such as a politically themed boards or a business-oriented
board where bbsing and the exchanging of things such as GIF's, MOD's
and off-the-wall ideas are not the main issue. In other words, boards
your parents might call, although there are a few of us out there,
including myself, who like a change of pace and setting every now and
then. In some cases where there is a subscription involved, it's
acceptable depending on material available.
However, on 95% of the other boards, Handles should be welcome,
especially when there are message bases dealing with 101 ways to have
sex with Nazi Lesbian Hooker Eskimo's from Detroit and file bases
dealing with pygmy blonde women with 3 eyes. Seriously, handles
are invaluable. In many cases, people who are "hiding", which is
a bad choice of words, behind their handles are able to bring out
their real emotions, their real thoughts on subjects which they
might not even profess an interest in in the outside world. If I
had to use my real name, or at least a variation of it, I for one,
would not be talking about the sexual habits of Nazi Lesbian Hookers.
Really, though, people who seem shy or anti-social or whatever in
everyday life can let out their true emotions, feelings, and what-
nots behind their handles. I've met many of my friends thru the
boards, okay 98% of them, and to be honest I would have passed
most of them up on the street, in the classroom, or whatever as
being weird, loners, psycho-paths, boring, etc. had they not let
their real personality shine thru. Of course, I come across as one
whom regular people would try to jail under the stalking laws or
perhaps as being one who someday, after constant harassment from
various friends, walks into the bottom of a dorm and opens up
with semi-automatic weapons. Yes, I do have a subscription to
Soldier of Fortune, collect semi-automatic weapons, and hope to
work for the postal service someday, but because of the boards
my friends didn't find all of this out until after we had met in
person and I already knew where they lived.
Got off topic there..sorry.
Make your handle unique and creative and then stick with it. I've had
mine for several years and see no reason to change. I've used
what I call sub-handles, that is, handles that I use on boards
which I don't want people to know who I am, and where I can dl my
GIF's of blonde pygmies in peace and quiet. I see people changing
handles more often than a lot of people change underwear. It just
shows that they have an identity crisis, can't make a decision on
something (like a certain President Elvis), or that they keep
pissing SysOp's off and keep getting their names banned. It's a
pain in the ass to keep up with them. Also don't take your name
from a game that just came out, because everybody and their dog
does it. The same goes for a movie. The exceptions are that it's
obscure, Monty Python, or anti-social. If I see one more "Little
Mermaid" or "Aladdin" out there I'm gonna punch a hole in my monitor.
Don't say your a veteran bbser or modemer unless one of the following
conditions is met:
#1 You've been doing it for more than 3-4 years.
#2 You've an extensive grasp of bbsing and are recognized
for it.
#3 You remember the days of the Commie 64, TI 99's, Apples
and PC Jr's and when 300 was good enough and 1200 was
kick ass and cost as much as a 14.4 today.
#4 You remember when 64k was a lot memory and to hack was
to code elegantly, not to destroy things.
Handles say a lot about a person. Don't use "Pirate". Nothing needs
to be said about that. Don't use "Hack" or "Hacker" in your handle
unless you can back it up. Don't use the handle of an expert/well-
known hacker/phreaker/pirate/bbser unless you are one of those.
Those kind of people are not the kind you want to screw with.
Don't use "ph" in place of the "f" unless you know where the "ph"
came from as mentioned earlier.
Correlation : Don't use "PigFucker" as a handle unless you do indeed
engage in sexual intercourse with pigs. If it's a joke, it's funny
but watch it as you can get identified with it.
Correlation : Don't say your a programmer unless you can program in
something other than a variation of basic and you haven't spent
more than 2 days straight going thru a helluva lot of code looking
for a misplaced ";".
If you log onto a system and see that somebody else is using your handle
and that they used it first in town, then change. There should be
only one person with a given handle at any one time in any one town.
It confuses people.
SysOp's shouldn't ask for a lot of info. More than once I've seen people
give their real names and it comes back to haunt them. If somebody
hacks a board, they have access to some potentially damaging stuff.
Same goes for other information. I get bored seeing a list of callers
from the same town. I'd kinda like seeing a little variety, and like
it when I see callers from Imaginary places or even other planets or
eras. Same goes for real names. Granted, "Anon E. Mouse" is stupid
but names like "I.P.Freely" or "Jack Me Off" or "Biggus Dickus" or
"Huge Erection", while juvenille in nature, are amusing. Some SysOp's
are just outright paranoid about this stuff. Some may have reason to
require real names such as boards that don't use handles, but others
who think they need real info, if they need it bad enough then they
perhaps should get to know their users personally. Personally, I think
a first name, a valid phone # where they can be reached, and a handle
are all that are needed.
Correlation : Second Accounts. Don't get one unless it's run by a busi-
ness or it's a subscription board and they have multiple
lines and you are intent on dling every GIF of every
mountain in the Yellowstone National Park or every scenery
file for MS Flight Simulator 4.0(tm) they have on their
CD-ROM. Most fake accounts are easier to spot than users
think. A good SysOp can go through and look and logs and
accounts and pick them out so save everybody a lot of time
and effort and don't get second accounts unless deemed
necessary or you don't want people knowing what you dl
or ul.
Files
-----
Oh boy. I have a problem with the way files are handled by a lot
of SysOp's and a lot of users. Here goes:
Don't upload pirated material to a pd (public domain) board and then
turn the SysOp into the Secret Service. It may be the goddamn
funniest thing in the world and the look on the SysOp's face is
priceless and definitely a polariod(tm) moment and you may make
some needed cash by doing it, but pretty soon everybody is doing
it and it gets really old and pretty soon there are no boards left,
or at least boards with file bases.
Don't keep several versions of programs online. I doubt most of us
need PkZip 1.01 or Scan v74 or ARJ v.98. SysOp's should keep, at
most, the latest version and the next to latest version in case
the latest has bugs. I don't like seeing half a dozen versions of
one program in one directory and I'm sure others don't. Plus it
wastes valuable space.
Correlation : It is alright sometimes to put up really old and obscure
software, so that people can dl it and keep it for
obscurity points and posterity's sake but thats it.
Don't advertise a ton of files and then keep 90% of them offline.
Don't advertise/post that you have 50 or a 100 megz of files and
then bitch about people dling all of the time. If you didn't want
people to dl, then you shouldn't have advertised files. Don't put
up a lot of files and only a few bases. Trust me, it's not gonna
work and your board will turn into leech central.
Correlation : If I see a CD-ROM or 100 megz of GIF/MOD/Sound stuff,
I'm there. You bought the CD-ROM or filled the HD so
live with it. CD-ROMs are rare and so some people will
call just because of that.
Don't advertise to be a hacker's or underground board. If you post
publicly about it then your either not a hardcore underground type
or you receive a paycheck from Uncle Sam. Just because you have
the Anarchist's Cookbook, which by now is probably available on a
shareware CD-ROM, doesn't make you some kind of badass. If, under
general user security levels, users have access to Anarchy texts,
your not an underground board, or you specialize in it. Anarchy
texts are not that big of a thing as most of them are legal under
freedom of the press. And if your stupid enough to make that stuff
like bombs in your own home and you don't have a background in
chemistry then you deserve to blow your fingers off and your pet
through the wall.
Correlation : Files don't make the board, attitude and the SysOp do.
Time Limits : If you bitch about users getting on and spending all of
their time in the file base, then lower their time. If you give
somebody 2 hours of access a day, then your saying in effect they
have 2 hours of dl/ul time if they want...
Don't have shitty files. Nobody wants monochrome/CGA stuff. I don't
think any of us wants 15 different databases or disk catalogue
programs. Get rid of games that are under 100k. SysOps should
ensure that they or their Co-Sys's make sure that files are useful,
up-to-date, and that there are not duplicates uled under different
names. Nothing is more aggravating than dling for an hour or so and
finding out you already have that file under the proper name.
Don't ul files that you renamed. That's plain fucking rude as mentioned
above. Also, label your ul's with descriptions that make sense
and aren't a bunch of acronyms. Also don't ul obsolete software
unless the board has strict ratios.
Don't ul cheesey GIF's (i.e. bad scans or blurry), unless there is a
file area specifically for a collection of bad scans. Don't ul
GIF's below 256 color unless they are really cool, Nagels, Cartoons,
Animations, etc. Don't ul GIF's that saw their hayday back in the
80's. Don't ul crappy sound files that are all distorted. Upload
quality stuff.
Correlation : Don't ul a file until you think about whether or not you'd
want to dl it in the first place unless the board has strict ratios
and then ul whatever the hell you want to.
Ratios : Now we come to something very important. Ratios. They defeat
the purpose of quality files. When a SysOp puts a strict ratio, i.e
less than 7-10 dl's per ul, they are in effect saying : "Upload
whatever you have in your directory that's handy. I don't care if
it's shit or not. Just give me files." I have seen boards where
there is less than 5 dl's to every 1 ul, and they have the shittiest
files. The boards with the best file bases I have seen, have either
no ratios or ratios well above 10-1 dl/ul. The reason being that
people will ul things they find worthy and not something to beat the
ratio. I find that I ul more to these types of boards simply for the
fact that there is no pressure to ul and therefore I only ul that
which I think others would dl and enjoy. I have no problem uling at
all, but when there is a strict ratio and I run into it, whether its
ul/dl numbers or size uled/dled, I find myself hitting ALT-J, dropping
to DOS and zipping up whatever sound file is handy in my soundblaster
directory or looking for a gif to ul. I don't care what it is as long
as I can ul it. If somebody dl's all of the time and doesn't ul, then
penalize them, not the majority of us who are good users and ul without
being told.
Correlation : If you have shitty ratios, then be prepared for my shitty
files.
The Internet doesn't have any ratios and for just a few minutes longer
a lot of us can get the most up-to-date software there is plus we
can find file bases that most people can't imagine. Put strict
ratios up and you probably won't be seeing us ul a lot of those files
as we'll ul whatever is zipped or has a GIF extension in our
directories.
Closing
-------
I'd like to thank Dr. Angelo & Admiral Jabba (for that one little
example about logs), Damanstian, Max Headroom, OverDriver (of course)
for providing examples plus the rest of the guys at F.U.C.K.
I'd like to also thank my Chia Pet & Billy Idol's Cyber Punk CD.
Special thanks go to my binoculars, my parents for giving me a second
floor room and for having a camcorder with a zoom lens, and my
neighbors who leave the curtains of their bedroom open, for many
enjoyable hours.
Btw: I'm thinking of selling several adult videos (amateur action).
They are a bit blurry and the lighting isn't too hot but I will vouch
for their being amateur.
Oh yeah, lest I forget, thanks to all of the boards and users out there
who gave me such a rich collection of bad bbsing to use here.
Żloki®
Please Direct comments/questions about this file to me on the
Immortal Hate BBS listed below.
For the curious : Typed in MS-DOS 6.0 Editor
Spellchecked with EzSpell 1.0
Started : 10:30pm, July 20, 1993
Ended : 5:45am, July 21, 1993
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