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4/1/2002 ARLINGTON, TEXAS -- In a surprise move, reknowned hacker research group, NMRC, today announced the formation of a new security consultancy, New Millenia Research Consulting. NMRC's CEO, Simple Nomad, marked the occasion with a charitable donation of his long hair to the "Haitian orphans voodoo doll fund", noting "they need it more than me".
Known for their sharp criticism of corporate America, NMRC seems to have made a complete reversal of policy by forming alliances with companies such as Microsoft (MSFT), Novell (NOVL) and ISS (ISSX).
Simple Nomad acknowleged "We realise there will be those who claim we are selling out our principles, but they couldn't be more wrong. We saw the fallacy of our utopian vision at a dinner with Paul Leach, Carl Karanan and Scott Culp of Microsoft. We never realised just how much money could be made by hording exploit data. It's amazing."
Russ Cooper, Surgeon General of TruSecure, will also serve as the new company's Chief Hacking Officer with the responsiblity of drafting a new disclosure policy for the firm, along with the assistance of Scott Culp. When reached for comment, Mr. Culp stated "We cannot disclose the nature of our disclosure policy due to security concerns. The disclosure policy is a crucial element of protecting NMRC's valuable core assets and, therefore, cannot be disclosed."
Chris Rouland of ISS concurred. "We at ISS realised long ago that it was in our financial interests to protect our zero-day exploits. I'm pleased that NMRC has finally seen the light", he said.
"We negotiated long and hard to recruit Mr. Rouland from ISS, but after 30 seconds of intense negotiations we realized that he is too essential to the ISS team and decided a strategic partnership would provide a unique synergy to lead us into the next millenium," stated hellNbak to a packed audience of reporters.
"As the new CEO, it is my intent to lead NMRC into the consulting stratosphere" stated Simple Nomad. He proceeded to announce a Strategic Partners program as well as a high caliber Advisory Board. Numerous services, from consulting to various out-sourcing opportunities were announced as well.
"The thing that excites us more than anything will be our ability to leverage our own Cayman Island off-shore TechnoBank (TM)" stated Chief Financial Officer Sioda al Cailleach. "I personally am especially excited to be able to work so hard to put our client's money to good use", she said.
NMRC expects the move of the corporate headquarters to the Cayman Islands "by fourth quarter of this year". At that point phase two involving additional services is expected to be announced.
