That asshole gives me a laundry list of tasks. Update this software, remove this account, update this web page, find me porn. Then he goes out and enjoys a nice summer day or hits a restaurant with booze and boobs or grabs a "quick snack" of ahi tuna and wine AND THEN SENDS ME THE PICTURES ON MY PHONE TO SHOW HOW MUCH FUN HE'S HAVING, H0H0H0. What a dickhole.
Some kind of rhino/elephant/mutant mammal from Mars. This is Jericho-ese for "herro, c0cksm0ker, i r at teh zew while j00 r inside on teh 'puter." I got a zoo for you, mister... right in my pants.
And what's a zoo without pengies, right? Cute funny little birdies, right? WRONG. I fully understand what is implied here: "As long as you're sitting there on forced, dilhole, don't forget to nuke old accounts, update local.cf for the latest FDA-approval spam, reset the uptime cron for every 15 minutes instead of 30, and check my mail spool (grep for DEN) to let me know what time my flight leaves tomorrow. Oh, and try not to rm /etc again." Pengies = Linux. Photo = reminder. ALL TOO CLEAR.
This is Jericho's way of telling me "Hi, I'm outside and you're not. See those things up there? They're called 'clouds'. You might remember those from a few years ago before you decided to volunteer for attrition (sucker). Oh, and that thing in the middle is called a 'truck'. OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY." He got one thing right, folks... this just proves he really *is* a Colfax streetwalker. Give him three bucks and you'll get change back.
Some kind of bird with her little birdlings. When I got this one on the Blackberry, I opened the link and said "oh, look. birds." Momma bird was not doing her job though... she allowed Jericho to TAKE PICTURES OF HER KIDS AND POST THEM ON THE INTERNET. Jericho = bird pedo-pr0nmaster. One of these days, this picture will come back to haunt him. Sicko.
This is Okra, the world's super-coolest chinchilla. I can't say anything bad about Okra... other than her dad is a prick. Luckily for Okra, Okra's mom is also super-coolest, which makes me wonder how she PUTS UP WITH JERICHO. Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out how Okra's little nubby legs can support the weight of that HUGE head. I mean, that's like a bobble-head doll with fur and a tail. Still has a vertical jump of about 48.239847 miles though. Assmunch should invest in a webcam so Taki can have another friend besides me.
OK now... THIS TAKES THE CAKE. He KNOWS how tempting this photo is and how much I want it. I mean... COME ON. So round... so delicious...
That margarita is absolutely gorgeous.
(Oh yeah... I wonder who the chick is. Couldn't possibly be with him; he's the guy with the "chicks hate me" t-shirt...)
This appears to be food. Please note the Diet Coke on the left hand side of the screen... he apparently hasn't
forgotten ALL of the ways to torture me. That's fine, dude, just fine. While you went out to grub, I ordered STEAK
AND LOBSTER for DELIVERY. That's right, surf and turf BROUGHT TO MY DOORSTEP. Know why? Because YOU gave ME TOO MUCH
SHIT TO DO. Spam wave kills apache, little Lyger-admin to the rescue!
forced ~# /usr/local/apache/bin/apachectl startssl "fUc|<iNj3r1ch0"
My cow + crustacean > your beans and white glaze sauce (bet I know how it got there too).
More food, this time what appears to be a sirloin steak, loaded potato, and green beans and mushroom veggie side. Dining at its finest, and at, like, a RESTAURANT. Yes, that is a REAL METAL FORK. AAARGH. All of my forks are still in the dishwasher and no plastic available, so I just bear-clawed my steak and lobster to death. As a side note, anyone who dines with Jericho better be "mommy's little piggy" and finish everything, else you will hear those famous words: "you gonna eat that?" I remember the Japanese restaurant in Denver, sir...
Assmaster finally starts to hit below the belt. More clouds, water... Denver. He *knows* how much I'd like to live there (as long as we would be on opposite sides of town, that is), so he begins to send scenic torture pics. Looks like fun, or at least good for some clean air. Jerk.
Looks like a park in Denver. Nice little ramp going up and around, nice sky. Know what I'd do? I'd walk up the ramp with Jericho, get to that peak in the upper left corner, turn and reflect and the Denver sky... and then push his ass off head-first onto those little steps at the bottom. The aftermath would look like the priest-dude doing the head-spill in The Exorcist. Then again, I can't really do that because I'm STUCK HERE, YOU ASS.
More sky, more Denver, more temptation. You know, for any prospective employer who might be looking for a security analyst based out of the Denver area, I could be willing to relocate for the right offer (HINT HINT). Drop me a line here; I promise to work hard and not use bad words in official email communication unless we're talking about Jericho. Pinkie-swear.
Water + Jericho's head = GLUBGLUBGLUB. 'Nuff said.
... and this is where I would bury the body.
This picture proves beyond any doubt that Jericho is a COLD HEARTLESS BASTARD.
He knows I'm a Broncos fan.
For over ten years, I've been a Broncos fan. Last time I was in Denver, I drove by Invesco Field EVERY DAY on my way downtown. Sending me this picture was the same as saying "hahahahaha, I live here and you don't, you polesmoker". Cold. Oh so cold. ANYBODY HIRING YET?
Then again, maybe I could push him off of *that*...
OH JERICHO, MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH THOU ON THE BRIDGE?
I imagine that while taking this last picture, he was not only snickering but making "yumyum" noises. That's probably water on the left, so at least the asshole left out the Diet Coke for once. See how he treats me? "All this could be yours, just sign here next to the word 'soul'." mmmkay.
By the way, apache is still running.
16:14:50 up 131 days, 14:01, 5 users, load average: 0.40, 0.38, 0.89