=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =

                           Things to Ponder

        Just a few humorous things to ponder over. Kinda makes you
        wonder who came up with some of this and why we continue
        with our bizarre ways. Enjoy.

        * Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?

        * Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

        * Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead
          of parachutes?

        * Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
          prohibited there?

        * If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there
          locks on the doors?

        * Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

        * Lisp, if you suffer, you can't say it.

        * Dyslexic, if you suffer, you can't spell it.

        * Why is "monosylabic", by definition, not?

        * How many people with a speech impedement can say "impedement"?

        * Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

        * If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's
          license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

        * Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

        * How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in
          the mornings?

        * If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON
          stick to the pan?

        * Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

        * Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?

        * Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's
          called a shipment, but when you transport something by
          ship, it's called cargo?

        * You know that little indestructible black box that is used
          on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the
          same substance?

        * Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

        * Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

        * Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

        * Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

        * Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

        * Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result
          is the same?

        * Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

        * Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all
          stuck together?

        * Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

        * Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

        * How can someone "draw a blank"?

        * Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

        * Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

        * Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

        * What is another word for "thesaurus"?

        * When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

        * Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

        * Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

        * Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we
          are already there?

        * Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

        * Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

        * Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

        * Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called
          a "near miss"?  Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

        * Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

        * Why do light switches say on/off?  When it's on you can see
          it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.

        * How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?

        * Why is FOOTball played by hand?

        * If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

        * Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
          address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

        * If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that
          says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear",
          how can that be possible?

        * If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped
          it from a height, what would happen?

        * If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what
          happens when you turn on the headlights?

        * You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the
          protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

        * What's another word for thesaurus?

        * Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

        * If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

This file brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

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