=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  =

                                New Mail

        The boy sat in front of his computer, staring intently at the
blue screen in front of him.  He was on the net like usual at this time
every Tuesday night.  For the past year and a half, he had locked himself
in his room on Tuesday night, awaiting new mail from one of his mailing
lists.  This mail was different however.
        Once every week, mail came through informing him of what was going
to be considered fashion, what was going to be cool, and what was trendy
the following week.  He was one of the elite few who got to find out half
a week in advance what to dress like, what to do, what to think.
        Two weeks ago, liking the movie 'Assassin' was in.  Dressing like
the main character was cool, having the double pierced left ear like the
assassin in the movie was hip.  That week was also a week of wearing
your pants low, with one leg raised above the Nike hightop.  Necklaces
with silver beads were in, backward hats were out.
        Last week was basically the same, except necklaces with silver
beads were out, backward hats were out, and two pagers were in.  The
second pager was a status symbol more than anything, but it defined
that you were one of the elite few. Last week was also a time of blue
shirts, black pants, and white shoes.  An update that same week informed
them that white shoes were no longer good, but black ones were the thing.

        It was about this time each night, when mail was dumped to his
account.  The mail always came from an anonymous account in Finland, but
it didn't matter.  It always had the PGP signature showing it was real,
and that it was indeed part of the elite mailing list.

        'New Mail!' Flashed across his screen and he pulled his chair up
ready to read it.  Yes, it was the mail he was waiting for, PGP signed
to show it was real, from the same address.  He never actually checked
the signature, but he didn't have to.  He read on:

"For this week: Radical changes in whats cool.  Sagging is back in, make
 sure to buy large.  The bigger the sag, the better.  Shirts on backwards,
 but not inside out.  Necklaces that dangle with gold pendants.  Make sure
 the pendants resemble a hockey team, not the other sports.  Red hightops
 are in this week, and try to get one endorsed by a basketball player.
 Carry your portable CD Player with last weeks music (no change), and 
 keep the headphones on all the time.  Thats all for this week."

The boy captured the mail to a file, and put it in a directory where
all the other updates were held.  Looks like another week of him helping
to set the trends.


        As the boy finished reading, the sender of the mail stood up,
turned off his computer, and headed downstairs.  His friend was waiting
where they were ready to go out.  Both were wearing blue jeans, plain shirts,
tennis shoes, and baseball caps.

        "Did you send it?" his friend asked as he walked down the stairs.

        "Yup.  Not like anyone reads it anyways..." he replied.

        "Who cares, its hilarious either way, I bet some poor losers
         actually follow that crap you feed them." 

        "Yeah, maybe, lets go"

= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc...   =
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