ignore the overzealous RT. distracted by five wild gpigs running around the room
3:28 PM Nov 1st

[10-30 14:16] nepen: But being an assgoblin, you are beneath me, scumbag <- another satisfied attrition user
12:16 PM Oct 30th

ya know.. "beaker" would have been a great mascot name, if only it weren't synonymous with "squirrel fraud"
6:32 PM Oct 27th

If you mourn for Dickie, I'll tell you right now, there was an old man and he had but one cow.
11:41 PM Oct 21s

what types of liquor are generally accepted to add to Wendy's chili?
7:24 PM Oct 10th

attending #symcar-09 and quoting anything they spew, via twitter = drinking the koolaid and ignoring logic or common sense. FUCKING SHEEP
2:05 AM Oct 8th

RT @demonweasel: I love the STANDARD ATTRITION.org forums like they were a magic cake made of rainbows and blowjobs.
10:51 PM Sep 28th

(was a great weekend)
Glenlivet, Citizen Cope (live) and a contact high.
12:23 AM Sep 28th
Scotch, candy corn and COPS
12:47 AM Sep 27th

@docwho76 cheaper than oracle no surprise. can get a shuttle ride and heart transplant a bit cheaper than an oracle install. and MAD free!
10:28 PM Sep 18th

1:15am in Boston. Lyger still awake like a faithful soldier. d2d sleeping on couch and just ripped one out, should be bleeding from his ass
10:16 PM Sep 18th

Kosheen, Singleton Scotch and a 334 page PDF on vulnerabilities in ES&S voting machines.
10:13 PM Sep 18th

after arguing with @mubix, i feel unclean. AFK, need to delouse...
1:32 PM Sep 18th

@falconsview when you asked how she knew me, she should have said "biblically"
12:25 PM Sep 16th

Way to go, friend. <- cokerewards web site message after inputting code. they sure know how to be all hip and shit
1:43 PM Sep 14th

"A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn" - poetic and moving. (also the name of a torrent on cheggit.net adult tracker)
11:24 PM Sep 8th

the security industry needs an enema.
10:11 AM Sep 2nd

tried to get video of a chattering squirrel today. it ended up bricking my Motorola Razr. squirrel black magic apparently =(
9:56 PM Sep 1st

@infosecjerk "p0wn"? really? one of my guinea pigs is more of a jerk than you. (and knows etymology of 'pwn' better than you)
5:31 PM Aug 27th

Scotch, Lamb (Fear of Fours) and a 1.4 meg changelog from IBM.
10:32 PM Aug 21st

anyone running a pool on betting when Stephen Colbert admits he is gay?
10:33 PM Aug 18th

@simplenomad LOOK MAN I AIN'T FALLIN' FOR NO BANANA IN MY TAILPIPE
4:02 PM Aug 15th
lyger and i are quoting lines from Beverly Hills Cop (the first you heathen) to each other. wild and crazy guys on Saturday afternoon.
2:35 PM Aug 15th 

if my erection lasts more than 4 hours *without* viagra, am i still supposed to go to the hospital? hypothetically i mean..
1:39 PM Aug 13th

frisky biscuit
9:36 PM Aug 2nd

Learning about sting ray semen
3:28 PM Jul 30th

Cliff Torrence looks like a human penis.
2:27 AM Jul 26th

1h15m wait, for a 5m test to confirm a binary value i already knew. <3 urgent care.
4:55 PM Jul 23rd

oh mayo-covered twinkies, why can't i quit you =(
4:36 PM Jul 21st

amazing how often i almost get in a fight at PetSmart
7:09 PM Jul 11th

lyger has that "i just pumped the neighbor's dog" grin again
1:30 AM Jun 28th

Nugget had her four sutures removed today, two weeks after having a Trichofolliculoma removed. Surgery and recovery went well. HAIL NUGGET
6:12 PM Jun 24th

why does everyone make fun of my bunny costume that i only break out during binge drinking =(
12:29 PM Jun 22nd

watching a gnarly rsync of 18 gigs, because i typo'd in a script and --deleted the previous backup. god's gift to unix admins, yes i am
12:48 AM Jun 22nd

@thedarktangent kicks puppies
11:12 PM Jun 19th 

it's difficult being an internet ruffian when my victims laugh at me
10:59 PM Jun 19th

dd simplenomad 16/f/tx!! i'm a cheerleader who is curious about her sexuality and researching advanced sex ed, you?!
1:44 PM Jun 15th

when cops pull you over for suspected DUI, and you are visible from my balcony.. resist arrest for my entertainment, got it? assholes
1:49 AM Jun 13th

jesus christ on a pogo stick Mozilla, what part of *NEVER* do you not get? If i click NEVER, it means NEVER to me. Eat a bowl of dicks.
3:23 AM Jun 11th

Bean tostadas, beer, Lost S5, osvdb.org and masturbation on a Friday night. I love my life.
8:00 PM May 15th

i don't understand the hatred for Neco wafers
2:59 PM May 15th

gave twitter password to 4 people at Kansas I-70 rest stops in trade for sex. rednecks didn't update here, what jerks
8:38 PM May 4th

the lack of discussion on the historical timeline of the domestication of animals is upsetting. #rsac
9:06 PM Apr 23rd

computing is a different experience when you clean the mayo, scotch and body fluids off the monitors
1:03 PM Apr 23rd

i don't get how anyone is "excited" over any keynote. 50 minutes of fluffy talk doesn't change our industry. #rsac
3:50 PM Apr 22nd

roofie dealers are surprisingly reliable
2:31 PM Apr 22nd

we now follow a lot of people. some good, some bad, some hot. this should allow us to better mock people and use twitter more effectively
3:18 PM Apr 20th

OH JESUS FUCK IM USING TWITTER FOR LEGIT CONVO, AFK WITH BRILLO PAD
10:05 PM Apr 19th

i didn't wake up to a million followers, our fans suck
12:24 PM Apr 18th

(first tweet?)
my butthole itches the same time every day. butter doesn't help.
3:25 PM Apr 17th