From: Tom Malone (tmalone1588@yahoo.com) To: lyger@attrition.org Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:39:01 -0800 (PST) Subject: Monkey Question Well to answer the monkey question, Tina would scream and go running to me, I forgot who was who and started calling Tina "Charlie" a while back and vice-versa, while the monkey Charlie would only lift his head. At the same time my daughter would turn around and laugh at me because one: I gave her a guys name, and two: I gave her a monkey's name that's a guy. Then Tina would start to run towards my daughter because she was laughing at me, after of course giving me a banana thinking it would help a charlie horse, and start to attack her. At this time I would stand up and rip Tina off my daughter Charlie to protect her, and my monkey Charlie seeing this would come in defense of Tina and start attacking me. I would then call animal control to get them away from my daughter, me, and my house. When animal control pulls up, all they see is me fending off two monkeys and ask why I was attacking them, I would then tell them the story, but they wouldn't believe it and ask my daughter, who is still mad at me, what happened and she would say, "They were peacefully playing with me when my dad came up and attacked them." The monkey twins would be taken off to the zoo for rehabilitation, and I would lose custody of my daughter and never be able to see her. Years later on my deathbed and asking for my daughters forgivness, only to find out she died 8 years before. Moral of the story: Monkeys make bad pets.
From: d2d (d2d@attrition.org) To: Tom Malone (tmalone1588@yahoo.com) Cc: staff@attrition.org Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:42:35 +0000 (UTC) Subject: Re: Monkey Question ALMOST! See fixes. ---- Well to answer the monkey question, Tina would scream and go running to me, I forgot who was who and started calling Tina "Charlie" a while back and vice-versa, while the monkey Charlie would only lift his head. At the same time my daughter would turn around and laugh at me because one: I gave her a guys name, and two: I gave her a monkey's name that's a guy. Then Tina would start to run towards my daughter because she was laughing at me, after of course giving me a banana thinking it would help a charlie horse, and start to attack her. At this time I would stand up and rip Tina off my daughter Charlie to protect her, and my monkey Charlie seeing this would come in defense of Tina and start attacking me. I would then call animal control to get them away from my daughter, me, and my house. When animal control pulls up, all they see is me fending off two monkeys and ask why I was attacking them, I would then tell them the story, but they wouldn't believe it and ask my daughter, who is still mad at me, what happened and she would say, "They were peacefully playing with me when my dad came up and attacked them." The monkey twins would be taken off to the zoo for rehabilitation, and I would lose custody of my daughter and never be able to see her. +++++ Living a life of remorse and despair, I'd punish myself by going to work at a leading anti-virus software company producing almost useless reactive software that is more often circumvented than effective yet still qualifies under industry security 'standards' +++++ Years later on my deathbed and asking for my daughters forgivness, only to find out she died 8 years before. ? Moral of the story: Monkeys make bad pets.
