F U C K E D  U P  C O L L E G E  K I D S
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                - t h e  p o e t r y  v e n t u r e -
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        Free spirits are we all. most choose to ignore this fact
	and slave unto themselves a destiny of destruction.
	
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		 Mortars of the Soul

	darkness is the colour of my soul,
	        it fills me in my thought.

	my mind is a fraction of a whole,
	        shatterd beyond repair.

	my life is coloured black,
	        It leads me in dispair.

	my thoughts keeps wandering off track,
	        like mortars of the soul.

      bonefish
           (0+++<


	I Think of Her --

	I think of her when night is falling
	to the stars I gaze for hope 
	I look and look and look -- only to find nothing.
	is it the wind or is she calling?
	
	at wake, at sleep I only imagine 
	what has happend, what is to come
	time aches 
	thoughts pierce my heart like a pin.
   
	nny



	Help Me  
	-------  
	Help me. 
	The pain is so uncontrolable, yet I control it.
	I need to break through the noise. 
	These voices that drive me insane also hold me back from suicide. 
	Paradise is so far away that I feel i'll never reach it, so I search for
	that in-between place.
	That place where all my fears, pain, and hate will disapear.
	Yet it isn't that simple. 
	I cannot just wake up one day and be happy.
	My life is like a mine field. 	
	No matter where you step, or how carefuly you will eventualy step in the
	wrong spot.
	In light of that I survive day by day.      
	Not knowing whats around the next corner.     
	More pain? More hate? More, more, more.....    
	I don't know how much longer I can stand this. 
	The barrier in my mind that keeps these things from driving me mad is
	crumbling.
	Help me.....

	-Shadow Wolf


	Said but Don't
	--------------

	You said that you understood,
	while you do not even understand -
	the meaning of the words or
	jest of the depths.

	You said that you felt the same, 
	yet if you did, wouldn't it show?
	In some way, shape, or form,
	that would be admirable?

	You said that you lived,   
	with faith and held strong.
	In the slightest shimmer or glimmer, 
	you sway and find yourself wondering.

	You said that you thought -
	along the same lines.
	Yet, you only clutch onto the tops
	of the meanings as if leaves from a tree.

	You don't seem to know the meaning,
	of understanding me, or my life.
	Or maybe it's you just don't know how.

	You don't seem to grasp the concept, 
	that I am my own being, and cannot   
	and will not be locked into some role
	you want played or yearn for.

	You don't grasp the reality,
	that I am a free spirit, 
	and need the freedom of flight,   
	while having the security of home.

	You don't understand, even though
	I believe your heart is in the right place.
	So stop trying to lock me in,
	and let me be set free.

	Maybe then you will see
	what you have said 
	and what you don't do.
	Sad but true.

	- Kamira
	April 25th, 2000 - Tuesday


	esoteica
	(written in Tokyo, 11-15-99)

	random unrelated stream of conscious
	seemingly no direction as prayer beeds fumble in hand
	problematic forks in the road make us stall
	comfortable routine and boredom a less bleak path
	perhaps a treacherous yet exciting stroll to the left  
	meanwhile, pixelated madness brings lifelesness to mind
	i resist the distraction of Nipponese earthquake
	        give pause to ponder
	an eternal braid of love, lust and lost
	eighteen different flavors of reason

	ichiban



	Savage eyes

	Savage eyes show no fear
	Time dawns. Blink away that tear
	Fortune runneth aground
	Silence gone without sound
	Wealth decides fate
	The poor being built on hate
	Death, violence, destruction at best
	When will it end, when do we rest.
	
	blaise


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