It has long debated that animals have sensory far beyond human capacity. They can predict ominous events such as earthquakes, detect cancers and seizures, and are in tuned to our emotions. I am a true believer of this postulate, so it therefore puzzles me why I did not heed my dog's anguished barks when I put the movie into the VCR (no, I don't yet have a DVD player....that's why I hang at Jericho's). Oh, the animals know......they know. Now I know, and I want you to know.
Since my dog can't write this review for me, I am unsure if I will be able to review this movie with proper justice. I don't know if I can convey the disgust, abhorrence, and detestation I had for this film, but here goes: Plain and simple, don't see it. At all. For any reason. Now, for those of you who want more reasons, or if you just want to vicariously participate in my misery, I just want to let you know instead of it being the horror film it was billed as, it is a horrible film.
This film by David Lynch (who I'd like to) is confusing, disorienting, and plain fucking STOOPID !! The plot.....er.....well there really isn't one, and if there was, I couldn't even begin to explain it, which reminds me of his earlier work "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me". Our nightmare begins as me meet Fred (Bill Pullman) and his wife Renee (Patricia, of the, 'why do they bother trying to act', Arquette clan). The two rarely speak to each other, except for an occasional "ugh" and we learn that Fred thinks that Renee is creeping around on him. Then come these videotapes of the house, in one of which Fred is trying to kill Renee.
Then somehow we run into Pete, a mechanic who is somewhat supposed to fit into things, but his purpose is in the movie is never clear, except to annoy. You don't really know his identity or reason for being. In fact, you really don't know what anyone's identity is in this movie. Are two characters one person, or one character two persons? You don't know, and had the director done a half-assed job on this film, you might be able to, or even interested enough to discover that. Then you have this funny little man (Robert Blake), who looks like a mime with arsenic poisoning who is able to talk to himself on the phone, which is about the only interesting part of the film. Now if what you just read makes no sense, then the movie makes even less sense.
This movie has absolutely no point!! Not in the least! This was supposed to be a film noir, but it is just a film stupid. I've gotten more creeped out watching "The Twilight Zone" and "Tales From The Darkside". I assumed Lynch was trying to distort time and place as Hitchcock did in "Vertigo", but all he distorted was your pain tolerance. There should be a law against this type of obtuse and asinine filmmaking. If it weren't for the soundtrack, this movie would have the redemption value of an expired coupon, none!! Unless you are a fan of Lynch or really bad movies, you can live your entire life perfectly, without seeing this atrocious film.P.S. Listen to the animals.
Billz Movie Worthiness Scale: E-
Billz Movie Worthiness Scale Values:
A = movie tickets and popcorn for 2 (about $40)
B = buy the DVD when it comes out ($25)
C = rent it
D = wait for it to be on cable/pay TV
E = wait for it to be on regular TV
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