I've Learned...

That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
   stalk them, and hope they panic and give in.
That no matter how much I care, some people are just
   assholes.
That it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion,
   not proof, to destroy it.
That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
   After that, you'd better have something up your sleeve.
That you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are
   more screwed up than you think.
That you can keep puking long after you think you're
   finished.
That we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
   celebrities.
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is
   at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a
   lot of money to take its place.
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when
   you're down will be the ones who do.
That modern maturity is a magazine for old farts.
That we don't have to ditch bad friends because their
   dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
That no matter how you try to protect your children, they
   will eventually get arrested, and end up in the local paper.
That overzealous customs agents can change your life in a
   matter of hours.
That the people you care most about in life are taken from
   you too soon. And all the less important ones just never
   go away.