What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A bitch that won't do what she's told.

What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.

Whats a girl do first thing after returning from a battered shelter?
The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

What do 50 women from teh battered shelter all have in common?
They all said the same wrong thing.

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.

What do you say to a girl with no tits?
Nothing.

How do you know when it's time to wash the dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants. If there's a penis, it isn't time.

Why do doctors spank newborn babies?
To knock the dicks off the stupid ones.