The opening credits of The Simpsons shows Bart writing the same 
sentence over and over again on a chalkboard, reminiscent of the whole 
"write it 100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a 
troublemaker.

Each episode is usually different. Someone apparently went to the trouble of 
taping all the Simpsons episodes, watching them all, and writing down
what Bart is writing on the board. These are the collected writings of
Bart Simpson from opening credits.  Even if you're not a fan, at least a few 
of these worth a bemused chuckle.
     
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. 
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. 
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless. 
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. 
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head". 
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. 
No one is interested in my underpants. 
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom. 
I will never win an emmy.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. 
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. 
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. 
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". 
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
There are plenty of businesses like show business. 
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not skateboard in the halls.
Underwear should be worn on the inside. 
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I will not sell school property
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
I will not strut around like I own the place
This is not a clue...or is it?
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
The First Amendment does not cover burping
I will not use abbrev.
No one wants to hear from my armpits
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
The boys room is not a water park
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I am not certified to remove asbestos
I will only do this once a year
I am not my long-lost twin
I am not licensed to do anything
I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten