An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being
    smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who
    probably deserved to fly as cargo.

    During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded
    United flight was canceled.

    A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
    Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.  He slapped his
    ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it
    has to be FIRST CLASS."

    The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir.  I'll be happy to try to help you, but
    I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
    something out."

    The passenger was unimpressed.  He asked loudly, so that the passengers
    behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

    Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address
    microphone.

    "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing
    throughout the terminal.  "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES
    NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.  If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to
    gate 17."

    With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
    the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive) you."  Without
    flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand
    in line for that, too."

    The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although
    the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at
    United.