The Last 10 Things any woman would EVER say:

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends
9.  Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way
8.  I think hairy butts are really sexy
7.  Hey, get a whiff of that one
6.  Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are
    just too cute
5.  This diamond is way too big
4.  I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow
3.  Wow, it really is 14 inches!
2.  Does this make my butt look to small?
1.  I'm wrong, you must be right again

The Last 10 Things any man would EVER say:

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker
9.  While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8.  I think hairy butts are really sexy
7.  Her tits are just too big
6.  Sometimes I just want to be held
5.  That chick on "Murder She Wrote" gives me a woody
4.  Sure I'd love to wear a condom
3.  We haven't been to the mall for ages, lets go shopping and I can hold
    your purse
2.  Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown
1.  I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions.



Someone later submitted these for things a Woman never says:

1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!

4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case
of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a
threesome!

5. God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!

6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.

8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go
shopping.

9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's
asses.

12. I'll be out painting the house.

13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time
to play on Saturday too.

14. Honey..our new neighbor's daughter is nude sunbathing again,
come see!

15. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

16. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

17. Your mother did a great job raising you.

18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy
yourself new clubs.

19. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year. You go
hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever.

20. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

21. Not the king mall again!, come on let's go to that new strip joint!

22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you
retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the
night feedings.

24. That was a great fart! Do another one!

25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head
for ya...