nd so it was that the lord through his magical powers impregnated the virgin Mary with his child , the son of god. Seeing this the horned beast known as Beelzebub or Satan was enraged. He spitteth phlegm of fire and sulfurous gases erupted from deep within his bowels.

The Dark Lord then appeared to Mary in the manger and mounted her like a dog, and there was much moaning and groaning, and untold rumping and pumping, until he cameth oceans of black semen into her. And so was created a clild of the Devil.

When it was time for Mary to bear child upon the earth Joseph held her in his arms and called upon God to lessen her pain. And out popped a little boy child. And Mary named him "Jesus" because he reminded her of the dead guy who hung on the cross around her neck. And then out popped a girl child, she was so beautiful and angelic they called her "Angelica".

One day while Jesus and Angelica were playing dicky back rides in the bathroom there came a knocking upon the door. Rushing into the hall they saw two men in dark robes talking to their mother. "Oh no not the fucking Mormons again!" exclaimed Jesus. However Angelica was curious and went to the door. Upon seeing the child the men flung themselves to the floor, writhing and screaming "oh lord protect us!". "What is the matter?" Mary asked. "She bears the mark of the beast - behold!" and they pointed to the birthmark on her forehead and Mary saw it did indeed resemble the number 666.

When Joseph cameth home from working at the Wall mart and upon hearing the news he smite Angelica and threw her into the wilderness to die. Forty days and forty nights passed and Angelica was near to death when some wild stallions came upon her. Feeling sorry for her they suckled her upon their seed.

When the dark lord heard what had become of his daughter he brought her back to his kingdom, and he vowed "What has been done to you will be done to them. What you have endured they will endure one thousand fold. We will let your bastard brother rule for fifty score years, and then you will return and vengeance will be ours. Blood will flow and we will drinketh from it's cup.

Await the return Angelica my child.

For you will rule the world.