Makah Whaling: Questions and Answers

 1. When Does The Makah Tribe Intend To Conduct A Whale Hunt?

We have been planning to kill whales for the past four years, and we have been killing Sea Lions in preparation for at least that long.

 2. Why Does the Tribe Want to Do This?

WE WANT MONEY ! 350 million tax dollars dollars to be exact- paid to us or else.

 3. How Many Whales Will the Makah Kill?

The US government is allowing us to butcher five whales per year for the next five years. In a very similar hunt conducted in Siberia, one out of every three whales that is shot is recovered and butchered. The Russians are real pros with a lot of practice at it, whereas we can barely row our canoe. In fact we keep tipping it over. What about those really nice photos of us traditionally rowing on the open ocean with the sun setting behind the mountains in the background? Those were taken on Lake Ozzette (shhh don't tell anyone). So to answer the question we don't know yet how many we will kill and we sure wouldn't tell you if we did.

 4. What Species Will Be Hunted?

We are publicly planning to kill gray whales but if others get killed, oh well whale meat all looks the same and we can get more money (see question #2) for the other species. We have been practicing killing. Wayne Johnston can often be seen in Dan Greene's red boat trying to kill seals with a .50 calibre anti-tank gun (this big gun makes up for his small one). In case he misses, which he frequently does, he usually brings his traditional AK-47 with him. As we stated to the National Marine Fisheries Service way back in 1995, we would like to also kill sea lions, seals, sea otters, and other marine mammals. We are so excited at the variety of species that are available to kill that we are planning to make a business of it (You can foia our business plan from NMFS since they have a very short memory in the matter). Our Japanese investors are helping us make our dreams a reality by hiring us a PR firm and our very own lobbyists:

They have done a great job at helping us to cloak our commercial aspirations in a traditional facade.

 5. Does the Level of Makah Whaling Proposed Pose Any Conservation Threat To This Species?

Indirectly Makah whaling will allow other whaling countries like Japan, Iceland, and Norway to resume whaling. It would be racist to say that one race is entitled to whale while another is not. So if you don't want a full-scale resumption of commercial whaling you better pay up (see question #2 for terms).

 6. What Gives the Makahs A Legal Right to Hunt Whales?

NOTHING! We are depending on white guilt, political correctness, and ignorant PC'ers to help push our agenda. Of course our PR firm (see question #4) has done an excellent job reaching out to this constituency and helping us to correctly frame our message. We are hoping that no one notices that we are killing docile animals in a National Marine Sanctuary, in violation of the marine mammal protection act, and in direct violation of the International laws protecting whales. As long as the whales migrate through US waters they must be US whales, right? So we should not have to worry about international issues. We can claim to be a sovereign nation (expect when it comes to receiving welfare and other forms of federal aid like our new dock) so the law doesn't really apply to us. In fact many of our officials and whaling committee members regularly break the law with impunity. Wayne, our main shooter, had an outstanding arrest warrant for assault and is 60,000 dollars behind on his child support. Our police chief Lionel Ahdunko is wanted in connection with the disappearance of 6 million dollars and was indicted for perjury. He was also convicted of felony domestic violence in NV and rumor has is that our Ex-chief rower Eric Johnston is suspected of a racially motivated murder of a Latino man. Eric also recently beat a woman from a neighboring town unconscious for turning down a date with him. Similarly, many other members of the commission have also been able to exercise their sovereignty. Because we are on a reservation, state charges don't apply to us, only our traditional laws as we interpret them apply. So you see your laws are meaningless since we are not required to abide by them anyway.

 

 7. How Did A Whaling Clause Come To Be Written Into The Treaty With Makah?

Prior to entering into negotiations with the Makah, the United States government was well aware that our people had lived around Cape Flattery for several thousand years and that we subsisted primarily on whale, seal and fish. They knew that we hunted whales and that we had a thriving commerce in whale oil and slaves (a practice that we continued into the early 1900's) which made us really wealthy (see question #2).

When the United States territorial Gov. Isaac Stevens arrived at Neah Bay in December 1855, he entered into three days of negotiations with our leaders. They made it clear to him that while they were prepared to cede their lands to the United States, they wanted guarantees of their traditional rights like slavery and whaling. The treaty minutes record Gov. Stevens addressing the Makahs as follows:

"The Great Father knows what whalers you are - how you go far to sea to take whale. Far from wanting to stop you, he will help you - sending implements and barrels to try the oil."

And in the treaty it say the Makah shall have "the right to whale in keeping with the rights of other citizens" [of the US]. The treaty was then accepted by the Makah Tribe. But since US citizens aren't allowed to whale we should focus on white guilt instead (see question #6)

 8. Will the Makahs Sell Any Of The Whale Meat?

If we can (see question #2). Generally gray whale blubber is not very highly prized. Truth be known it is all but unpalatable.  If we are unable to sell it we will potlatch it to the Canadian Nu Chal Nuth who will then sell it for us. They are in a much better position since Canada did not ratify the treaty banning commercial whaling.

 9. What Use Will The Makahs Make Of The Whale?

If we are unable to sell it (see questions #2 and #8) the same use will be made of this whale that we made of the whale we "accidentally" killed in our fishing nets a couple years back. It will end up in the dump.

 10. How Will The Makahs Hunt the Whale?

We have given much thought and time to the planning of the hunt, as has our PR firm. We are attempting to conduct it in a way that looks as consistent as possible with our traditional manner (for the movie we are making and also to placate the PC'ers). But we also must make sure the killing of the whale is done in a manner that is as humane as possible in accordance with the requirement of the International Whaling Commission, whose decision we ignore anyway. In reality we wouldn't want a whale to die slowly while being filmed by news cameras since it might cause all those PC'ers to lose their McDonalds value meals and cause us to lose our federal support checks. We presently plan to conduct the hunt from one or two traditional seagoing canoes. The canoe is 36 feet in length and is carved from a single Canadian cedar log, readily available since we logged our reservation flat (they don't call it cape FLATtery for nothing). Each canoe is MANned by crews of eight to nine whalers. The canoes fit nicely (under tarps) on our gill net fishing boats that will drive them out into the ocean, bringing us to the whales. Once there if our German film crew is with us we will off load the canoes and begin the traditional hunt. We plan to use both a harpooner and a rifleman who will be stationed in the canoe. The harpooner will use a stainless steel harpoon mounted on a wooden shaft approximately 7 feet long, connected by ropes to buoys and to the canoe. The rifleman will commence firing a specially designed .50 caliber anti-tank rifle simultaneously or immediately after the harpoon is thrown.

We have been working with Dr. Allen Ingling, who fraudulently claims to be a veterinarian at the University of Maryland on the use of this weapon. Ingling was actually asked to resign a year ago in view of "poor performance". He was given no choice and did so. Because he is unlicensed we got him really cheap (see question #2) and we would like to thank NMFS for turning us on to him. Ingling has a rather strange fascination with really big guns, killing elephants, and by his own admission electrocuting horses in his spare time. But what the hell he was cheap. Dr. Ingling and representatives from National Marine Fisheries Service and the National Marine Mammal Laboratory have been testing the use of this rifle. It is thought that the rifle might kill the whale in twenty minutes or so if fired at a target area near the base of the skull and if we miss we will pepper the whale with gunfire from our high speed chase boats. It is the most humane method that can be employed. While it is true that this is not the traditional method for the Makahs, it is far more humane than the traditional Makah practice of plunging spears into the whale to cause internal bleeding and ultimate death. That method often resulted in a prolonged and agonizing death for the whale. And other times the whale turned on the canoe and killed everyone aboard. The rifle merely replaces the spear and avoids unnecessary suffering and insures return on our investment (see question #2).

We intend to follow the canoe with chase boats full of armed Makah, and after killing the whale, Makah divers will go into the water to lash the whale's jaws shut to prevent it from sinking. They will also attach lines to enable the whale to be towed back to shore using our traditional powerboats. The carcass will be beached at one of the Makah's traditional beaches and whaling family representatives will carve the blubber and meat and distribute it in accordance with traditional Makah practice covertly to Japanese buyers.

 11. Will The Makahs Harm Mother Whales With Calf Or Calves?

Since it is impossible to differentiate males from females we are probably going to kill a few females. If we kill a pregnant female, or mother with calves no one will know anyway so it really is a moot point. Because our management plan only allows for the taking of migrating whales we had the National Marine Fisheries people reclassify the resident population as migratory.

 12. Aside From History And Tradition, Is There Any Cultural Purpose Served By Taking Whales Now?

Yes. We believe that our drug problems, crime, and poverty (see question #2) are the results of our young people being unable to kill whales. The violence in our community can only be stopped by the killing of whales. If we are unable to whale our wives and children will suffer.

 13. Do All Tribal Members Support The Plan To Resume Whaling?

No. Currently most Makah are indifferent on the issue. The plan to resume whaling is primarily the construction of a couple of weathy families (mostly the Johnston's) for reasons of pride and money (see question #2). Those that have voiced opposition have been successfully intimidated into silence. One such example, Alberta Thompson, an elder of 74 years, has been fired from her job, had her dog killed and left behind her house (rumor has it by Officer Svenson), had eggs thrown at her, was threatened with banishment, was threatened with arrest, and had her daughter's land rights revoked. While some of our elders signed a petition against whaling several years ago, many of them have found wisdom and changed their minds, disclaiming opposition now.

The tribe is governed by a democratically elected five-member council and the council recognizes that whale killing is the mandate of a powerful minority of the tribe. For the good of these individuals the opposition must be put down and silenced.

 14. Are You Aware That Your Whaling Plan Has Aroused Intense Opposition Around The United States And Abroad?

Yes. We don't really care as long as we get paid either by the Japanese to whale or the US government not to whale (see question #2).

 15. Will Whaling Be Regulated And If So, How And By Whom?

Yes. We are going to regulate ourselves using a fluid set of guidelines that we make up and change as it suits our purposes.

 Conclusion:

The Makah Tribe appreciates the action taken by the United States government at the "request" of our Japanese lobbyists to falsely claim approval for the Makah Whale Hunt by the International Whaling Commission when no such approval was granted. We pledge our continuing efforts to cooperate with the federal government when necessary to insure that our whale kill is carried out. We ask the public to remember that through out the history of the United States there has been a sad record of intolerance of Indian culture. Thus we should be allowed to commit atrocities against the whales in return. White guilt should necessitate that a different set of standards be applied to us then those that would otherwise be applied to peoples of other races and nationalities.


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