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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Gripes From a 23 Year Old Woman
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Listen up good. No. Pay attention to me. Lean in real close. I
want to tell you a secret or two.
Just because I work in computers does not mean that I want to
solve your stupid problems for you. Write me a check and then
we'll talk.
Do you *really* think that you are the first person to ask me
if it hurt to get my nose pierced? I didn't think so. Use your
brain for just two seconds. Piercings are accomplished with a
hollow coring needle designed to enter flesh. Do you think
that hurts? Uh-huh. Don't get me started on the tattoo.
If I am writing something in a notebook, why the hell do you
think I want to tell *you* what it is? If I wanted to tell
you, I would open my mouth and form words and skip over the
whole dead tree thing.
Quit handing the change over to the guy I am with when *I* pay
for something. The year is 1998. Not 1947.
Do I ask *you* about the particulars of your eating habits in
restaurants? If I want to eat a plate of lettuce with no
dressing and cow dung on the side, that is my business. Shut
your trap and eat your own meal without openly dissecting
mine.
I don't care if you quit smoking cold-turkey and started
running 10 miles a day after you freed yourself of the
nicotine demon. I smoke. You don't. Get out of my way before
rub ashes into your eyes.
If I wanted you to know where I got my jewelry, my tee-shirts,
my hair clips, or anything else adorning my body, I would
never have removed the tags.
If I get one more piece of spam from you, I will find you and
kill your dog by forcing it to eat your computer whole. Then I
will do the same thing to you.
I *know* I haven't updated my web page in 6 months. I write
it, don't I? Get a fucking life.
If I order popcorn and a diet Coke and then brandish a 10
dollar bill in front of your face, what in the free world
would possess you to ask me if I want candy? If I wanted
candy, I would ask for it.
No. I don't want new long distance, theater tickets, or a
newspaper. I don't want to donate money to the Police Against
Drugs Foundation. I don't want to sign your petition or answer
your stupid survey questions. And I definitely don't want to
give you a cigarette. What part of my unsmiling and generally
annoyed expression are you interpreting as "open to
soliciting?"
Fix your fucking ATM machine or get it out of your store. If
you can't keep it running for more than a day then it is of no
discernible use to me.
Please stop making my drinks weaker than my male companions'
drinks. Just because I am short and have breasts does not mean
that I am also a natural lightweight.
Have a nice day.
demonika
demonika@demonic.com
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