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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Fading Away
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Another e-mail sent. The worlds gotten so small since
the day of her untimely demise. The world was so big then,
not any more. It seems that all there is now are shadows cast
from electronic dungeons, wandering over every person. There
are no souls, there is only greed, money, and power. There is
no room for compassion, only stress and lies. The world has
taken a dark turn in my eyes, and the blackness is everywhere.
I'm standing here with a razor clutched in one hand
and blood streaming down my wrists. My eyes are bloodshot and
reflecting in the mirror. But maybe that's not even me in
the mirror, who am I anyway? I remember when things were so
innocent, but I'm not all that innocent anymore. There's a
pair of dark circles around my eyes, and my world is crumbling.
I feel like I'm out on the ocean. As soon as I think I have my
foothold, I slip because a new wave hits me. I topple off into
the ocean.
These nights when I tuck myself into bed I get no
sleep. The demons of the night are everywhere. They haunt
my dreams, they haunt my spirit. Since her death things just
haven't been the same, darkness have invaded. There is no
use trying to get sleep in a tired exsistence.
I think things will be quite a bit better when I'm
gone. No one is going to have to worry about me, think about
me, anything. It's not as if anyone gives me the time of day
anyway now.. In the words of Silverchair, "I'll kill myself
to get my head in the news."
I don't know why my eyes are going woozy. I don't know
why nothing seems to matter anymore. I don't know if it's
my destiny to feel this way, or if I made it this way myself.
All I remember is not being able to say goodbye, I was never
ever good at that anyway. Remember everything when only memory
remains, but I can't remember a damn thing.
The darkness of the night is rolling over me now.. I'm
starting to drop to the floor.. My eyes are closing shut and
my last breath is being exhaled.. But I can't help but feel
that I'm doing the right thing.. For me, and for everyone. It's
better to burn out then to fade away, but I can't help but feel
I'm fading away.
-dropcomm
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