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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                                Inter-not
                                ---------

    Two things I hate, and yet seem to be stuck knee-deep in the center of,
is buzz and hype.  I won't even consolidate my credit card debt because I
heard on the news that EVERYONE is doing it.  For me it does not translate
to a change in conventional wisdom, but instead another sheep-like maneuver
akin to the 'acid-wash denim' bilking of America in the 80's.  Even if I
could save $300 a year in interest, if it is popular - it is wrong.
    Still, since every non-comatose human in existence is a fleshy monument
of hypocrisy, I do participate in popular culture in one way.  As obvious as
it is from the sheer volume of email I produce, my folly are computers and
the Internet.  
    Do NOT get me wrong.  I cringe every time I hear buzz words related to
technology (probably the same way the guys at IBM working on the first
desktop felt in the 60's when Batman would announce "To the Bat-computer!").
The terminology I hate most are the ones that are made up for connivance's
sake, or just to make something sound hip (examples I have yet to hear but
expect any day now: Virtual living, dial-up spankings, and the prenatal
information superhighway).  How long before they say that a pair of boxers
is Internet-ready (I know, BUZZ word) because they are ready to wear while
on AOL. The truth is, in all honesty, that I work with techology, I am good
with it, and in an empty S&M type way, I enjoy it.  
    The problem is, it is inevitable.  I know there are those that will call
it a "fad".  Still, the president of MGM said "Who wants to hear actors
talk" about sound in film back in the 20's, and the executive director of
Digital Computers in the 70's said "There is no reason for individuals to
have computers in their homes."  There will always be nay-sayers, but we
have all of the evidence we need to realize that it is here to stay.  Hell,
if our culture was a Scooby-Doo episode, Fred and Daphne could put it
together wigged-out on Tai stick.

    Why is the irresistible force?

1) The electronic craving - We love gadgets.  We love to pay at the pump
and we could not exist without ATMs.  Some people will go so far as to
demand electronic brakes without knowing exactly what they do.  If I could
develop a computer-assisted urinary tract, I would be a millionaire by
Halloween.  In our minds, anything that is electronic must be better.

2) The capitalistic nature of corporate America - Sell.  It is the nature
of our country.  Even if we stopped MAKING anything, we would still sell the
hell out of what other countries produced.  If there is a new avenue of
sales, there is a new market.  Look how the Home Shopping Network took off.
We already accept mail-order from catalogues and tv shopping, combining them
on a computer is the next logical step.

3)  Computer are out-selling tv's - This is no surprise to me because
EVERYONE ALREDAY HAS A TV (duh!).  Everyone has two, not including the RCA
tv from 1969 (Now, in COLOR!), that you have wiggle the knob to work,
rotting in the basement.

    They say that you will be able to go online over the tv soon. I find this
hard to believe.  Today's society is BASED on doing things in front of the
television.  Most exercise devices, no matter how ludicrous, are sold
largely on tv. They are shown being used in front of the tv, being
demonstrated on tv, and are virtually necessary because anyone that watches
enough tv to need an "Ab-Grabber" is only one year away from a massive
coronary that will effect corporate sales and network ratings.  You need a
pulse to call, order, and pay $19.95 for the "Crotch Clincher".  They need
you alive at the very least.

    I do believe that they will sell some device that can be used IN TANDUM
with the tv, though.  In truth, there should be no reason why you cannot
watch "Friends" on the tv, and at the same time be able to download a
picture of Jenifer Aniston's head superimposed on a naked picture of
Anna-Nicole Smith.  Mentally inactive, and yet, interactive.

    So, the moral of the story is that you should TRY to acquaint yourself
with this aspect of technology.  Even if it sets off the "nerd-alert", it
is a must.  Do you at least want a vague idea of what the future has to
offer, or do you want to end up like our grandparents who are afraid they'll
never wake up again because they can't program the "new-fangled" clock-radio.
Bite the bullet.  Visit a web site. Download a recipe for fertilizer-based
explosives.  Give it to a nephew.  Whatever.  

Capone


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