=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  =

                                Computer Sniglets                        
        Variety is the spice of life. So we add humor to the F.U.C.K.
files. A new member, Overdriver wrote these the other night and most
will be quite familiar with any computer geek out there. Enjoy them
and laugh a little.                     -Dam

                                By: Overdriver

Compucuss         - the "colorful metaphors" said at your 'puter keyboard 
                    after you realize you just did something you
                    didn't want to do.

Entersec          - the fraction of a second just before you hit 
                    when you make sure in your mind this is what you
                    REALLY want to do.

Ttyyppeelexia     - when you go to type one character and somehow two get 

Gamenonconformant - the ONE game that you can't exit by hitting ,
                    , , etc. like 99% of all the other games.

Demowait          - the period of time that you must wait for the credits
                    to scroll by at the end of a demo.

Grungeball        - the film and dirt that accumulate on your mouse ball
                    (this effect is applified in Lubbock).

'Puter 'Putz      - that annoying person who has a 486/66 and whose major 
                    is Home Economics or Political Science.

Boardbuzz         - the strange feeling you get when you're on a board and
                    you suddenly wonder if the SysOp is watching everything
                    you're doing.

Floppyfly         - that floppy that gets tossed across the room because
                    chkdsk said it had a few bytes in bad sectors.

GUI boundary      - when your mouse falls off the edge of your mouse pad.

Buffannoyed       - when you hit a direction key meaning to move only a few
                    spaces, but you go 20 more than you wanted to because of
                    that damn buffer.

Keyboard Blues    - wishing that keyboard buffer was just a little larger.

Printerfade       - when you're printing out your final 20 page paper and your
                    ribbon decides to run out of ink on the last page.

Bytebite          - when you have 1 byte less on a disk than you need.

Switchflash       - one of your power center switches that can't decide if                    
                    it want's to be on or off.

PonderWarez       - wondering if that file is really worth downloading.

Keyboard Condom   - the cheap plastic covering that keeps dust off of the 

Three and a half
laugh             - when you tease your friend because he still doesn't have
                    a 3" drive.

Micro-inch        - the amount of extra length you need on your keyboard cord
                    to comfortable sit somewhere else besides right in front
                    of the monitor.

Chessy-gif        - those gifs whose resolution is a mere 320x200.

Blasterclass      - the various levels of status one receives determined
                    by what Sound Blaster he owns (i.e. No Blaster, SB, SB
                    Pro, or SB 16).

Lock-a-sys        - that annoying lock-up that cannot be bypassed by pressing
                    ,, and  simultaneously.

Gendernojive      - when the cable you have is the opposite gender of the 
                    one you need.

Blasterpop        - the sound your SB makes EVERY time you enter or exit a

Viriibye          - when a virus makes interesting things disappear.

Fedflam           - guys who waste entirely too much time chasing pirates.

Uncontrollables   - the intense feeling you have when you seriously think you
                    might actually get caught this time.

Vouchbusted       - when a person trying to get access to a board uses 
                    someones name and then that person in return denounces
                    having any affiliation with the person trying to receive

BBS hog           - that person who has tied up the line to your favorite BBS
                    who you find out (after having logged on 2 hours later)
                    has not uploaded a single file or posted a single message
                    and who you therefor deduce is a leech and must be shot

Hard-drive scan   - tediously going through every directory and sub-directory
                    to find those little files you don't need to make room
                    for something you really do.

Hard-drive scan
regret            - wishing you hadn't Hard-drive scanned.

Periphenvy        - admiring someone else's CD ROM, Tape Back-up, etc.

FTP               - File Taking Periodically
                    or File Taking Person

Clickercount      - the number of clicks that your mouse is supposed to be
                    guaranteed to.

Cablemosh         - the jumble of wires behind your 'puter that appears to be
                    a fire hazard of some sort.

Combodip          - the virtually endless number of DIP combinations, of 
                    which one trys every single combination because he lost 
                    the owners manual.

VAX Virus         - the disease people have who you ALWAYS see when you do
                    a "show user" on the VAX.

Bootingnum        - a num key L.E.D. that just must come on at boot-up.

Drivnesia         - forgetting what type your HD is when your CMOS crashes.

Cardincrementalism- when one originally decides to spend $100 on a card of
                    some sort and then decides for only $40 more he can get
                    one that's a little better, but ends up paying $180 
                    because if he's going to spend $100 he might as well pay
                    $180 and get a good one, right?

486scheming       - sitting around all day thinking about how you could
                    get a 486, not caring if it's ethical or not.

P5prick           - that asshole who is going to get a P5 the day it comes

Warezwoes         - state of being depressed because you didn't get any new
                    SW today.

Illstudylater     - when you have a final the next day and instead of 
                    studying you are doing something completely 
                    unconstructive on your computer.

OK                - the two letters used most in a two-way chat.

Protonogo         - when that external protocol just doesn't want to work. 

Macattack         - when, for some strange reason, a person has an urge to
                    use a Macintosh.

Joyride           - the swirl (or center, push button; move to upper left,
                    push button; move to lower right, push button) which must
                    be done to calibrate your joystick.

Papcrunch         - the one piece of paper that just won't feed through the
                    printer right.

Cabanacongregation- the group of BBSers that can undoubtebly be found at Taco
                    Cabana on Thursday nights, at 10, drinking.

Covlexia          - when, after installing something, the cover on your 
                    'puter just won't go back on as easily as it came off.

Multi-Covlexia    - when Covlexia occurs multiple times because the something
                    you just installed didn't work the first few times.

x86 fever         - a condition when people feel they actually know a lot 
                    about 'puters because they know the difference between 
                    a 286 and a 386 (I've met some).      
Powswap           - the act of switching power supplies with the hope nothing
                    will fry.

wannaettes        - people who try to convince you they could program in any
                    language (if they really wanted to).

Insertaphobia     - the fear when installing a new card (i.e. I might break         
                    it, oops static).

Generiname        - those clones with names like "Missing Byte".

Hardtofind        - the ongoing and continuous search for more disk space.

Keycravas         - the space between keys on your keyboard where there is
                    enough space for everything to fall down into, but not
                    enough space for you to get anything out of.

Nocrashit         - the hope that, after you lock-up a BBS, hanging up will
                    not crash it.

dahhquestion      - when you enter a command and the program prompts: "Are 
                    you sure you want to do this?"

Setall            - wondering if, without looking, the install program is 
                    named "Setup" or "Install".

Subinstall        - when, after obtaining a new game, you must use Subst to
                    install it.

Dirdork           - the person, who every time he comes into your room, must
                    do a directory on you computer to make sure you didn't
                    get anything new and not tell him.

Nointrophobe      - a person who refuses to watch the intro on any game.

Screwbye-bye      - when, after disassebling your computer, you can't find
                    one screw when you want to put it back together.

Keybang           - taking out your aggressions on your keyboard.

Optidualtests     - the various different speed testers you use on you 'puter
                    in the optimism that you will find one which says it's

Digitrash         - the accumulation of out-of-date computer parts and 
                    accessories others classify as junk, but which to you 
                    is treasure.

Shockapart        - acquiring a certain item simply for its shock value.

Rompotporri       - the CD which comes with all CD-Rom drives containing
                    a lot of worthless SW.

Processjam        - the musical CD you listen to 4 out of 5 times you're 
                    doing something on your system.

Formforgot        - formatting a floppy before you did a directory.

Extendaslow       - when a program will slow down if EMM386 is loaded.

Wastetyper        - somebody who has nothing else better to do on a weekday
                    than type up a stupid text file such as this one.


= Questions, comments, bitches, ideas, etc : z3mar@ttacs.ttu.edu : FUCK =
= Official F.U.C.K. Distribution sites and information                  =
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