= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
Variety is the spice of life. So we add humor to the F.U.C.K.
files. A new member, Overdriver wrote these the other night and most
will be quite familiar with any computer geek out there. Enjoy them
and laugh a little. -Dam
Compucuss - the "colorful metaphors" said at your 'puter keyboard
after you realize you just did something you
didn't want to do.
Entersec - the fraction of a second just before you hit
when you make sure in your mind this is what you
REALLY want to do.
Ttyyppeelexia - when you go to type one character and somehow two get
Gamenonconformant - the ONE game that you can't exit by hitting ,
, , etc. like 99% of all the other games.
Demowait - the period of time that you must wait for the credits
to scroll by at the end of a demo.
Grungeball - the film and dirt that accumulate on your mouse ball
(this effect is applified in Lubbock).
'Puter 'Putz - that annoying person who has a 486/66 and whose major
is Home Economics or Political Science.
Boardbuzz - the strange feeling you get when you're on a board and
you suddenly wonder if the SysOp is watching everything
Floppyfly - that floppy that gets tossed across the room because
chkdsk said it had a few bytes in bad sectors.
GUI boundary - when your mouse falls off the edge of your mouse pad.
Buffannoyed - when you hit a direction key meaning to move only a few
spaces, but you go 20 more than you wanted to because of
that damn buffer.
Keyboard Blues - wishing that keyboard buffer was just a little larger.
Printerfade - when you're printing out your final 20 page paper and your
ribbon decides to run out of ink on the last page.
Bytebite - when you have 1 byte less on a disk than you need.
Switchflash - one of your power center switches that can't decide if
it want's to be on or off.
PonderWarez - wondering if that file is really worth downloading.
Keyboard Condom - the cheap plastic covering that keeps dust off of the
Three and a half
laugh - when you tease your friend because he still doesn't have
a 3«" drive.
Micro-inch - the amount of extra length you need on your keyboard cord
to comfortable sit somewhere else besides right in front
of the monitor.
Chessy-gif - those gifs whose resolution is a mere 320x200.
Blasterclass - the various levels of status one receives determined
by what Sound Blaster he owns (i.e. No Blaster, SB, SB
Pro, or SB 16).
Lock-a-sys - that annoying lock-up that cannot be bypassed by pressing
Gendernojive - when the cable you have is the opposite gender of the
one you need.
Blasterpop - the sound your SB makes EVERY time you enter or exit a
Viriibye - when a virus makes interesting things disappear.
Fedflam - guys who waste entirely too much time chasing pirates.
Uncontrollables - the intense feeling you have when you seriously think you
might actually get caught this time.
Vouchbusted - when a person trying to get access to a board uses
someones name and then that person in return denounces
having any affiliation with the person trying to receive
BBS hog - that person who has tied up the line to your favorite BBS
who you find out (after having logged on 2 hours later)
has not uploaded a single file or posted a single message
and who you therefor deduce is a leech and must be shot
Hard-drive scan - tediously going through every directory and sub-directory
to find those little files you don't need to make room
for something you really do.
regret - wishing you hadn't Hard-drive scanned.
Periphenvy - admiring someone else's CD ROM, Tape Back-up, etc.
FTP - File Taking Periodically
or File Taking Person
Clickercount - the number of clicks that your mouse is supposed to be
Cablemosh - the jumble of wires behind your 'puter that appears to be
a fire hazard of some sort.
Combodip - the virtually endless number of DIP combinations, of
which one trys every single combination because he lost
the owners manual.
VAX Virus - the disease people have who you ALWAYS see when you do
a "show user" on the VAX.
Bootingnum - a num key L.E.D. that just must come on at boot-up.
Drivnesia - forgetting what type your HD is when your CMOS crashes.
Cardincrementalism- when one originally decides to spend $100 on a card of
some sort and then decides for only $40 more he can get
one that's a little better, but ends up paying $180
because if he's going to spend $100 he might as well pay
$180 and get a good one, right?
486scheming - sitting around all day thinking about how you could
get a 486, not caring if it's ethical or not.
P5prick - that asshole who is going to get a P5 the day it comes
Warezwoes - state of being depressed because you didn't get any new
Illstudylater - when you have a final the next day and instead of
studying you are doing something completely
unconstructive on your computer.
OK - the two letters used most in a two-way chat.
Protonogo - when that external protocol just doesn't want to work.
Macattack - when, for some strange reason, a person has an urge to
use a Macintosh.
Joyride - the swirl (or center, push button; move to upper left,
push button; move to lower right, push button) which must
be done to calibrate your joystick.
Papcrunch - the one piece of paper that just won't feed through the
Cabanacongregation- the group of BBSers that can undoubtebly be found at Taco
Cabana on Thursday nights, at 10, drinking.
Covlexia - when, after installing something, the cover on your
'puter just won't go back on as easily as it came off.
Multi-Covlexia - when Covlexia occurs multiple times because the something
you just installed didn't work the first few times.
x86 fever - a condition when people feel they actually know a lot
about 'puters because they know the difference between
a 286 and a 386 (I've met some).
Powswap - the act of switching power supplies with the hope nothing
wannaettes - people who try to convince you they could program in any
language (if they really wanted to).
Insertaphobia - the fear when installing a new card (i.e. I might break
it, oops static).
Generiname - those clones with names like "Missing Byte".
Hardtofind - the ongoing and continuous search for more disk space.
Keycravas - the space between keys on your keyboard where there is
enough space for everything to fall down into, but not
enough space for you to get anything out of.
Nocrashit - the hope that, after you lock-up a BBS, hanging up will
not crash it.
dahhquestion - when you enter a command and the program prompts: "Are
you sure you want to do this?"
Setall - wondering if, without looking, the install program is
named "Setup" or "Install".
Subinstall - when, after obtaining a new game, you must use Subst to
Dirdork - the person, who every time he comes into your room, must
do a directory on you computer to make sure you didn't
get anything new and not tell him.
Nointrophobe - a person who refuses to watch the intro on any game.
Screwbye-bye - when, after disassebling your computer, you can't find
one screw when you want to put it back together.
Keybang - taking out your aggressions on your keyboard.
Optidualtests - the various different speed testers you use on you 'puter
in the optimism that you will find one which says it's
Digitrash - the accumulation of out-of-date computer parts and
accessories others classify as junk, but which to you
Shockapart - acquiring a certain item simply for its shock value.
Rompotporri - the CD which comes with all CD-Rom drives containing
a lot of worthless SW.
Processjam - the musical CD you listen to 4 out of 5 times you're
doing something on your system.
Formforgot - formatting a floppy before you did a directory.
Extendaslow - when a program will slow down if EMM386 is loaded.
Wastetyper - somebody who has nothing else better to do on a weekday
than type up a stupid text file such as this one.
= Questions, comments, bitches, ideas, etc : email@example.com : FUCK =
= Official F.U.C.K. Distribution sites and information =
= Board Number Other =
= ----- ------ ----- =
= Immortal Hate 806.745.8879 World HQ =
= Ionic Destruction 215.722.0570 Eastern HQ =
= PcI 806.794.1438 NUP: ORWELL WAS RIGHT =
= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 Dist. =
= Accounts NOT guaranteed on any F.U.C.K. distribution site. If you are =
= interested in writing for, or in becoming a distribution site for =
= F.U.C.K. call Immortal Hate, and apply for an account, or mail Dam =
= at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Immortal Hate. Knowledge is power... =